Well then, a Christian flashed me the two tablets of Doom, what every teenager dreads. The seven deadly sins and the seven Virtue. Because Envy is a sin, and Kindness is a Virtue! Now the World is complete again, if you can thump the Bible on some misbehaving child's or adults head. Did you really address the underline problem, then you said: “Kindness always Good!”? If a region is suffering due to somebody counterfeiting money, it doesn't help, then you give me the number of the Bank or Federal Reserve. I guess, it helps that now I am not under fire, but there is still an insurgence of false bills in the surplus. The same issue is, then a Christian dost get it, how defending Kindness doesn't help, then on the streets the issue is Envious Karens gaslighting the living shit out of their victims. But you can do nothing, because it was Kindd-nessnessness. Sorry for the echo, not really sorry, kinda.
Why would I love Witch Adria, who sacrificed her own child, Leah? How can I possibly feel kinship as a confirmed Christian. As a Baptist no less, who was first to go to church and last to leave; who always giggled, like Spongebob at the sight of yet another Academical treatise in the guise of a Sermon, then the other students groaned? Because I was Named Kristjan Räst!! Due to my father doing, what many 19,20 year olds do – a hit and run, leaving my mother Pregnant. He mustered enough courage, to push through 2 years of marriage, while whining among booze and friends how Mother and Father-in-Law don't like him. And then still gave up... Thus I was named by my Grandmother, who worked in Tartu University Library to restore old manuscripts, that my name should be “Kristjan” for its so hard to pronounce and would be fun. Also he was a closet Lutheran, who didn't dare to go to church, because her husband, my grandfather don't approve. Yet they offered their best fishes to baby Jesus – and God accepted. That makes me like Leah, in the story.
Its not, like they offered me any Christian education. My first vision was at the age of 6 then I first entered a church. I wanted to be there, because it was like reaching Home. It was in the form of safety you cannot explain, what makes a child play in the church, under the seats, while others try to listen to the Sermon. Obviously you can't baptise a 6 year old, for Baptists don't do that; also its illegal against the child safety and anti-grooming laws in Soviet Union and Post-Soviet States. Until I finally was allowed to finish my No Nut November as I see it, it was 2003 from 1998!! That's how hard it was for me. Try to not cum for that long, then everything teases you to oblivion and you really want to. Also the fact, I cannot understand those parents, who are so eager to cut first and ask questions later, then it comes to their children's gender affirmation. I could have been Trans too, but luckily my Mother was a Lioness and mauled anybody, who gave me the wrong gaze. Truth be told, I was Shota, fully not aware, what signals I gave out, able to talk to any stranger with a dazzling smile. I was the friendly one. Because being a Bastard, what I was, I couldn't approach people and make friends through my face and honour, which I didn't have, but by being Kind!!
And did you know, Faithful Servant of the Lord, what the people did unto me, then I tried to be Kind? Lets open Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban. I had to drink tea and eat biscuits with Aunt Marge! Mostly in the threes, because Karen's never travel alone. And how well could they mask their Envy, that a 19 year old promising girl, who should have gone to Uni, and had scholarship, lost it all. They there Kind to me, by flattering my Mom and her parents, how gifted I was, and how hard it is to raise kids these days. Underneath those help offers and votes of concerns, there was the want to destroy somebody, who got something, she shouldn't have. But I had to assume a nice smily face and behave, because good children only talk then asked something, or then the hen takes a piss. Whenever I did something, it was my Mothers fault, because she didn't raise me well enough to meet the standards. She was also one of those women, who was tormented in Churches by not letting her hear the “Mothers Heart” for she wasn't holy enough! How many tears she had to cry and how hard she had to labour, until she was fit to be redeemed from her grievous Sin, of believing a Man, my Father, who's name and Face I carry! If it there'nt for Lord Jesus Christ, I would go Voldemort and kill my father the most Bronx way possible. But people would blame it on my Mother, not me... so I turned the other cheek, as they say and assumed moral and spiritual bankruptcy, due to my dept in front of the society could not be paid in any other way, than offering the Honour of God Itself. Tell me again, how I should Love Kindness, ye Christian? Or do the Mišbat!
And if you ask me, why didn't I report them or my family, then things went South and I was offered yet another self-help tour of “Indigo Child”; “Crystal Child” “Savant This” “Gifted That” – because the culture was built up on shame. You couldn't never pennalize the people doing the wrong. You could only make the victims life harder. If I had been sentenced to a orphanage I would'nt have got my education. Definitely wouldn't a Pastor pay half my tuition to study Theology. I would have glown in the dark, like Mr. Burns on an evening stroll on his medication. Also the fact that my little brother was with a mental condition and my brain was so unique, the doctors wanted to study it more thoroughly. Luckily the Soviet Union collapsed first, so I was excused. How does a boy, who is already illegitimate make that call and risk shaming his Mother and sending himself in a Psych Ward for Evaluation?? Because there could be that kind of abuse as well. You can't tell. Experts tend to overreact then shit hits the fan. Especially then Aunt Marge; Rita Skeeter and Professor Umbridge help out and mask their own involvement in poisoning the Well. How does Kindness prevail in that event? How do you prove, you're not “It”?
That was the only lecture what I got, but I had to look for Christ on my own. Since I was alone and my Family Name was Räst (The first part of Viper so you can take your pick is it VIP or heads, both are bad then snakes are involved, because Jesus crushes them under his heel...) I also had a strong proclivity to Darkness. I had a knack in getting myself into trouble. Or accidentally stumbling into the spirit world. I don't need drugs, because Aspirin is already too strong for me. If I read a passage from the Bible or any more spiritual book or something, what has a emotional connection with its readers, I can drop to an altered state. Its called love and is regarded a shamanic trait and not the word it looks like in English. Its pronounced like clover or bother, because the empthasis is on the e not on the o.
So while people there really Kind around me, because I was so special, I dropped into the spiritworld and hanged around with demons and shadows, like I was the daugher of Trigon from Teen-Titans. I guess Jesus asked them really nicely, like Shaft to not touch me, then their on babysitting detail, because I had to trespass in places, where a normal Christian child should never find itself... That's why I don't like, then people compliment my skills or brain. You might as well, compliment a womens bust or a mans enourmous cock and balls. I just wanted to be a normal child, who could have fights with his younger sibling and stuff. But you shalt not hit a handicapped child!! Tell me again, oh Faithful Servant of the Lord, how I should be Kind in all this!
I'm happy to even be alive, that all my meditations and escapades, there I fucked around, like a cunt taking it into her 5 holes. Yes, you can take in 5 if you account the eyes or ears as spiritual channels, because listening and watching also counts. Mat 5:28; 15:11 I was being nice. There is a lot moore than 5 channels. Don't ask me, why Lord Jesus Christ keeps me alive, then I'm such a roadkill. Perhaps I'm meant to be there for some teenager, so he wouldn't kill himself and/or finds the Way. I find myself so much more at home with dwarfs and fairies; pans and dryads or ghouls and banshees. I have heard – I don't know, if that shit was real, or just told to me, so I wouldn't get into trouble – but there was a student, who also studied theology, for the sole reason, to get his Priests collar, so he could go to the rural grounds and offer protection against the spiritual world and exorcize demons. The demons inquired the Acts 19:15 and found out, that he was not covered in Heaven, but was an Alp who fucks around. So he got possessed. He only got so much breathing room, to sigh “Help me” in the most wimpy sound, while people there praying for him. After the prayer circle had to take a break, he was under steam again. That could have been me, for I'm pretty sure, I fucked around if not the same level than more, but for some reason, nobody has punched my ticket, like that... Kindness is not a Virtue, if you live amongst the Sons of Eli, who fornicate with the Temple Maidens, making people dish the service of God. If to use figure of speech. Constantly afraid, then the hammer falls, and the Arc of the Covenant taken from us, to give us Ichabod. “Honorless” Does it matter then, that in the Bible Kindness is a Virtue, but if I go to the real world, I have to mind, that it could cast a real person dead, due to his/her sins. I mean, there was a reason, why Joseph wanted to abandon his fiancee, and make it look like, he fucked her pregnant outside of marriage, so it would look better than the reality. Until the angel came and let him see the way, how to accept his shame. Because it was the Messiah. But alas, there's no Messiah here, just a little whiteraven. What am I gonna do with your well wishes... You'd do well if you run into your church and pray to God, that he might forgive you, that you did the Luke 18:9-14 How dare I dish the Holy Virtue of Kindness, sounds like Greta Thunberg. There is no correlation between me and the game Diablo 3 more so with Witch Adria and Leah. Its not like I was offered to God, to be yet another Samuel, in a world, there nobody wants to follow Christ, but in His amusement, God sent Whiteraven... Halleluyah, Godspeed Deus Vult.
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