I doubt myself and the songs I sang: "Christ first - money second!";
but then I look at my hand. Did I really meant it or was I doing the
right things - like bitches do clients, did I do God for seconds?
Was I really in it to resolve and forsake every thing for reckoning...
All people know gray-ops no black and white matters get past meh!
I doubt my goals and ventures beyond - good and evil looks the same;
angels and devils just with different titles behind and affront names...
Many fair games bane on the retirement of the Cross to have theirs;
taking time for the manor and car, while Christs bones are dry-in
the sun. The cathedrals we build to hide our ambition and shames!
I doubt the callings for so many doors got their numbers upside down;
some are fallen from the roof or behold on mountaintop; while bowing
like bowling pin-ups cherry picking the dinner tables for a Greek church,
what never happened. So many sermons are explicitly well merged
with authentic stand-up comedies and diagrams, while Hell is short on fans!
I doubt the fasting's and well ate supers. When ever Christians do; I hide
my eyes from rehearsed tears. What do we know about poverty: maybe QWERTY.
Or perhaps OWERTY is our power-trip to nowhere really but some clue,
to have few letters in the line for a star in the sky - maybe a satellite with our name
or red kryptonite, to season the blight for the Superman's defiant heist and smite...
In God we doubt - saying one thing - meaning others, like drunkards spitting our beards;
blowing hot winds and raising the stakes of cattle we never nourished nor shepherd...
Calling on every Genitive whether genuine or possessed by incentive stagnantly weird;
how many contemporaries do prophets have and how many schools or students fed...
Still wrong doings are like scarecrow'ed shoings without the string-man's ordeal nothing is real!
Who is moved by God and who is mowed by Money; who shown off by Fame; who erode
by cunning. Herod and Pilate still friends while gas-masking Jesus.Why should this be not funny?
Still the harlequin amuses to intrigue the inquiries, like Charlemagne on Charleston implores
too queer to be a cheer-leader... Words spoken more than wise men can remain silently stunning
as the breasts feed themselves their poison and filth - the cancer is just a byproduct to keep running!
I doubt myself to go on, but keep kicking. Is there wisdom in man, what deserves to be?
Since Samson and Solomon all is Digimon fused with Rashomon, to have OMON close the deal;
Amon-Ra had a recipe and opened his bra... I had more blah to say, but it was blatantly obvious;
just lacking some blood... Gotta catch the next insanity before someone pushes over the rift first!
Why is it important to know Christs birthday, when we cannot remember to visit our grandparents - say?
Tuesday, October 16, 2018
Saturday, October 13, 2018
Enlightenment
Why not marry a child-prostitute as did Hosea
or eat bread on bullshit, like did Ezekiel.
That's what enlightenment came to mean
as God to his followers deemed:
"My people are not following but navel-gazing.
the known world and money more amazing
to them than my kingdom and my words!
Let it be heard - do this and that, be absurd!!"
Why not sit in the den while fed by the ravens?
That brings trust onto a new level to sever cravings;
the connection of establishment and imperfections!
Wanting to be special, loathing the not enough.dissections...
What is to be acted upon in a cave accompanied
by only silly birds and sounds of silence indeed?
How many hours of many years can you withstand?
Will people take you back, when you've broken the brand!
Loose everything you own and are, including your friends in need;
Job was done, but God was not - can you repeat that feat?
Some named their children: "War-spoils" and "Booty"
can you extend your gratitude, then people contempt your goody
two-shoes nature; still keep grinding your everyday without delay.
Or will you forsake your endeavor on the first devour and mayday?
That goes without a say, don't start building towers if got no bricks
to mission completed the show what goes on, while being the side-stick!
Can you loose your face and faith; be like the hollow wraith;
like the pure sound, without meaning; the word without sense and scathe!
Be the color who has no name nor being. To be the unmarked grave;
can you call yourself insane enough to request for that in manners brave?
People loose minds over pretty ladies and sullied titled or broken glaives;
do you really seek enlightenment or is it a spork to avoid forks and knives?
That day that ends, shall descend upon you - like a vulture or raven pick your eyes;
can you abide, as your guts is ripped and your marrow chipped away in lullabies?
Can you forget your sweetness and nice attire, becoming like sack-cloth for the dead
and dire? Will you be able to stand stranded on the sands of neglect or instead;
will you seek for bounties now or never, success for attitudes and amused spires;
will you vengeance for lust and earthly pleasures; putting lever on lever - measures admire?
Can you hover over the people, like a scarecrow over the ravens being their cross
and switchblade; to be unmade and untamed, for the scapegoats namesake at a loss?
When you could seek enlightenment and rejoice in the straight and narrow;
as your navel gazes at sword point and your soul drinks poison from arrows!
or eat bread on bullshit, like did Ezekiel.
That's what enlightenment came to mean
as God to his followers deemed:
"My people are not following but navel-gazing.
the known world and money more amazing
to them than my kingdom and my words!
Let it be heard - do this and that, be absurd!!"
Why not sit in the den while fed by the ravens?
That brings trust onto a new level to sever cravings;
the connection of establishment and imperfections!
Wanting to be special, loathing the not enough.dissections...
What is to be acted upon in a cave accompanied
by only silly birds and sounds of silence indeed?
How many hours of many years can you withstand?
Will people take you back, when you've broken the brand!
Loose everything you own and are, including your friends in need;
Job was done, but God was not - can you repeat that feat?
Some named their children: "War-spoils" and "Booty"
can you extend your gratitude, then people contempt your goody
two-shoes nature; still keep grinding your everyday without delay.
Or will you forsake your endeavor on the first devour and mayday?
That goes without a say, don't start building towers if got no bricks
to mission completed the show what goes on, while being the side-stick!
Can you loose your face and faith; be like the hollow wraith;
like the pure sound, without meaning; the word without sense and scathe!
Be the color who has no name nor being. To be the unmarked grave;
can you call yourself insane enough to request for that in manners brave?
People loose minds over pretty ladies and sullied titled or broken glaives;
do you really seek enlightenment or is it a spork to avoid forks and knives?
That day that ends, shall descend upon you - like a vulture or raven pick your eyes;
can you abide, as your guts is ripped and your marrow chipped away in lullabies?
Can you forget your sweetness and nice attire, becoming like sack-cloth for the dead
and dire? Will you be able to stand stranded on the sands of neglect or instead;
will you seek for bounties now or never, success for attitudes and amused spires;
will you vengeance for lust and earthly pleasures; putting lever on lever - measures admire?
Can you hover over the people, like a scarecrow over the ravens being their cross
and switchblade; to be unmade and untamed, for the scapegoats namesake at a loss?
When you could seek enlightenment and rejoice in the straight and narrow;
as your navel gazes at sword point and your soul drinks poison from arrows!
Contrabusion
I'm for you aghast myself, I put all my merits on the unhappy shelf;
wealth be damned, like a drowned puppy or whelp - loose health
on stealth as I bomb the elves. I lost myself at don't, as selfish ate
some shellfish, doing cat memes and dogging to Shelley's Frankenstein...
No breathe! Abusing the contradictions of a dictionary I ate,
while staring the Gargoyles in a Toy-story what stored three stories.
I hit the roof with my worries OCD the blurry flurry of Baloney's...
I thought Mahoney had too much Robocop to put up shop on a chopper.
The contrast was killing me, or was it killing spree on my unreal game
I fair-gained for thee. Games there mocking my birdie as I shotgunned
the Bogey-man. Somebody understand me when Stan axed Jason,
while Freddy ate cold turkey sandwiches on Thanks-giving and Halloween...
I overstand my workload to bay-roll the pay-troll, watching as pedestrians stroll.
Karma got on my case and drove a Lamborghini Gallardo, as my Prada shoes
there on bullshit. Didn't like to hit the road, jack-hammering the Jack-rabbits
on ribbits of spit, duct taped together on the unsuspecting van. And my Ham egged.
The shit in the bottle got stolen and returned to the garbage bin, I had to laugh out loud
and roll over to play dead on my play station. The controls there borrowed from Linux
to Hy-lux the detox of smartypants pulled up socks what had Murdoc's hand up their ass!
That stomach talk had some backwater dropping to boomerang the booby traps on silos.
"It's alive" The dead meme of being like Duke to nuke em and having a Nobel peace award.
And I'm here to eat all chickens while roasting pussies, who don't know to treat children
in a pub! And that calls himself servant of the King of the Hill what made Benny Hill looked
like on drugs and misspelling Hinn! I don't know what the whimsy to brainstalk the Reaper and grin!
To the death-dance of dance-macabre to sacre-bleu the fleur-de-lis; flourishing the plot-holes
of potters nose, what broke too many times under the flashlight of the grievous fan. Scarecrows
mow more followers than sermons of the Mount could surmount the vomit from explicit content
from Passion of the Christ. What did we see, the truth or S&M? Indulging blood and gore?
And still, video games are too violent. Take that "Saw" and other commercials good faith!
"Badge" is not violent at all - as you urinate on a cop and rape his mouth... Still it's the games fault
that children postal at school, listening to the 6.6.6 version of "We don't need no education!"
abridged version on Common-core. Download it at your local drugstore and cornerstone for Peter.
wealth be damned, like a drowned puppy or whelp - loose health
on stealth as I bomb the elves. I lost myself at don't, as selfish ate
some shellfish, doing cat memes and dogging to Shelley's Frankenstein...
No breathe! Abusing the contradictions of a dictionary I ate,
while staring the Gargoyles in a Toy-story what stored three stories.
I hit the roof with my worries OCD the blurry flurry of Baloney's...
I thought Mahoney had too much Robocop to put up shop on a chopper.
The contrast was killing me, or was it killing spree on my unreal game
I fair-gained for thee. Games there mocking my birdie as I shotgunned
the Bogey-man. Somebody understand me when Stan axed Jason,
while Freddy ate cold turkey sandwiches on Thanks-giving and Halloween...
I overstand my workload to bay-roll the pay-troll, watching as pedestrians stroll.
Karma got on my case and drove a Lamborghini Gallardo, as my Prada shoes
there on bullshit. Didn't like to hit the road, jack-hammering the Jack-rabbits
on ribbits of spit, duct taped together on the unsuspecting van. And my Ham egged.
The shit in the bottle got stolen and returned to the garbage bin, I had to laugh out loud
and roll over to play dead on my play station. The controls there borrowed from Linux
to Hy-lux the detox of smartypants pulled up socks what had Murdoc's hand up their ass!
That stomach talk had some backwater dropping to boomerang the booby traps on silos.
"It's alive" The dead meme of being like Duke to nuke em and having a Nobel peace award.
And I'm here to eat all chickens while roasting pussies, who don't know to treat children
in a pub! And that calls himself servant of the King of the Hill what made Benny Hill looked
like on drugs and misspelling Hinn! I don't know what the whimsy to brainstalk the Reaper and grin!
To the death-dance of dance-macabre to sacre-bleu the fleur-de-lis; flourishing the plot-holes
of potters nose, what broke too many times under the flashlight of the grievous fan. Scarecrows
mow more followers than sermons of the Mount could surmount the vomit from explicit content
from Passion of the Christ. What did we see, the truth or S&M? Indulging blood and gore?
And still, video games are too violent. Take that "Saw" and other commercials good faith!
"Badge" is not violent at all - as you urinate on a cop and rape his mouth... Still it's the games fault
that children postal at school, listening to the 6.6.6 version of "We don't need no education!"
abridged version on Common-core. Download it at your local drugstore and cornerstone for Peter.
Ante or Christ
1.
Get your acts together amp up the rights;
as the 1:1 goes 1:20 some don't feel all-mighty.
And my duke nukem ran out of sprites;
the Pharisee loathed the tax-collector in spite.
Having the tithe as though ante playing cards rightly!
If you swear on the temple but not on the gold feisty...
2.
The Bills there chilling and I lost my last Will;
cracking some pills, I spill my demons on coffee.
The tea was too headstrong, I had to savor the thrill;
remixing all Together's for the frivolous one-night-kill...
My wolf hide had to cover for a sheep to toffee
the crusades made against swirling sideshow mills...
3.
Gathering the Rock to troll the enrolled hard.
There are nice thoughts to go idle in Hell;
Noir or Bleach or some other Alucard...
Allotted my shard of Amaze raw to the bastards!
A lot of fools-gold in my split-pot ringing the Crell...
Standing in the rain of light as darkness bards!
4.
Ante or Christ - that is here the treason;
imprisoned in dismay and regretting to forget...
As I repeat my follies all my vice have seasoned;
how to fight the shining armor and cold reason!
Some axe-heads want with my sword a belittled chat...
who should I roll over to model my character Lead-Cian?
5.
More gods to beguile while saying: "I love Jesus!"
Money the source of Evil but still many antique the fight;
leaning on: "Success is an attitude!" to please us...
I don't know how many leaders I can stand failing siege thus!
Sarumanning the gatekeepers to puff a smoke while swearing blights.
"You shalt not smoke!" and another lie was born from digest read sus!
6.
Gallivanting on believe, while the dog-fights of Christians whistle Real;
who hasn't seen your toothpaste tubed story of wasted fiends?
Can't put it in, what once was rinsed out of the diligent surreal;
The courts are on undertale to vote the Devil for supreme...
"He said thirst - He hit my seconds!" Who cares about Job's friends;
when in distress you're just accounting sins and not offer your Cream?
Get your acts together amp up the rights;
as the 1:1 goes 1:20 some don't feel all-mighty.
And my duke nukem ran out of sprites;
the Pharisee loathed the tax-collector in spite.
Having the tithe as though ante playing cards rightly!
If you swear on the temple but not on the gold feisty...
2.
The Bills there chilling and I lost my last Will;
cracking some pills, I spill my demons on coffee.
The tea was too headstrong, I had to savor the thrill;
remixing all Together's for the frivolous one-night-kill...
My wolf hide had to cover for a sheep to toffee
the crusades made against swirling sideshow mills...
3.
Gathering the Rock to troll the enrolled hard.
There are nice thoughts to go idle in Hell;
Noir or Bleach or some other Alucard...
Allotted my shard of Amaze raw to the bastards!
A lot of fools-gold in my split-pot ringing the Crell...
Standing in the rain of light as darkness bards!
4.
Ante or Christ - that is here the treason;
imprisoned in dismay and regretting to forget...
As I repeat my follies all my vice have seasoned;
how to fight the shining armor and cold reason!
Some axe-heads want with my sword a belittled chat...
who should I roll over to model my character Lead-Cian?
5.
More gods to beguile while saying: "I love Jesus!"
Money the source of Evil but still many antique the fight;
leaning on: "Success is an attitude!" to please us...
I don't know how many leaders I can stand failing siege thus!
Sarumanning the gatekeepers to puff a smoke while swearing blights.
"You shalt not smoke!" and another lie was born from digest read sus!
6.
Gallivanting on believe, while the dog-fights of Christians whistle Real;
who hasn't seen your toothpaste tubed story of wasted fiends?
Can't put it in, what once was rinsed out of the diligent surreal;
The courts are on undertale to vote the Devil for supreme...
"He said thirst - He hit my seconds!" Who cares about Job's friends;
when in distress you're just accounting sins and not offer your Cream?
Sunday, October 7, 2018
Kata Tonic
Laughter got slaughtered; I applauded the chatter;
truth or lie, it never dies - something must be real...
As gushing gets louder and the plot turns thicker;
add a sticker, to kick out the door - somewhat Is - steal?
Abrazing the tunics to rub in the flavor catacombed
the tombs of my thoughts, I awe the terrorized tremors...
Sky shakes the earth, I milk my eyes to be wombed
in the pillow, as I snooze, I loose my thought and rumors!
Catastrophic is the new tropical fruit - I like it brooding inside;
like drinking my triple Earl Gray with coffee, no sugar, what a rush...
Apostrophes stroking my dick I was hard in labor to work'n'hide.
The nighthawk thought, my cuckoo lost some marbles in a mush...
Excited by insight of wicked glee's what remedy rhapsodies
in teal or was it indigo I shall let go to venture into no mans lands.
I can pretend to be tender like Teddy if you give me some Odie's
while I kick Garfield off the table and give him a bearhug-stand!
How many words I can make up to mind your fuzzyness.
Muzzy must have ate my clock, so the work will be delayed.
I contest the bless to move my blink to eye on lazyness.
Dazed and enticed in my verbal grazing I'm perplexed to faze...
The new way to belt to your intercourse a virtuous jerk-off;
may it blow away, the rain falling in my head, as I raze.
The take has not been more angled to be sushi on nude jerky.
I had a fried liver, to eat the murky shorting of my bias...
And the beast was feasting in the lonely room, my broom-shot
had him tamed into a pigeon, as the bigots ate the vallied lillies.
It was no longer valid to be allied to Elfen Lied and I got bot.
I guess, that's what you can define a one-hit-kill is...
truth or lie, it never dies - something must be real...
As gushing gets louder and the plot turns thicker;
add a sticker, to kick out the door - somewhat Is - steal?
Abrazing the tunics to rub in the flavor catacombed
the tombs of my thoughts, I awe the terrorized tremors...
Sky shakes the earth, I milk my eyes to be wombed
in the pillow, as I snooze, I loose my thought and rumors!
Catastrophic is the new tropical fruit - I like it brooding inside;
like drinking my triple Earl Gray with coffee, no sugar, what a rush...
Apostrophes stroking my dick I was hard in labor to work'n'hide.
The nighthawk thought, my cuckoo lost some marbles in a mush...
Excited by insight of wicked glee's what remedy rhapsodies
in teal or was it indigo I shall let go to venture into no mans lands.
I can pretend to be tender like Teddy if you give me some Odie's
while I kick Garfield off the table and give him a bearhug-stand!
How many words I can make up to mind your fuzzyness.
Muzzy must have ate my clock, so the work will be delayed.
I contest the bless to move my blink to eye on lazyness.
Dazed and enticed in my verbal grazing I'm perplexed to faze...
The new way to belt to your intercourse a virtuous jerk-off;
may it blow away, the rain falling in my head, as I raze.
The take has not been more angled to be sushi on nude jerky.
I had a fried liver, to eat the murky shorting of my bias...
And the beast was feasting in the lonely room, my broom-shot
had him tamed into a pigeon, as the bigots ate the vallied lillies.
It was no longer valid to be allied to Elfen Lied and I got bot.
I guess, that's what you can define a one-hit-kill is...
Fools Gold - Who called shotgun on Empathy?
You're not cool, same old; the times have changed - struck gold;
I rush on my thunder, why scold! Join us or highway to broken mold...
I know betters, as wise-men told; why not try new things be bold!
I'm short on patience while playing solitaire; whom could my vanity fare,
then doubled down into blind conscience; confessed the I don't care tense.
I lost my common sense, when compassion got copy-righted by leftist translucence...
It's here, it's there, its everywhere, til nowhere becomes Erewon and offers a dare.
I lick my deer, inside my ensalted mines; fair game is better than the hard scare...
Just like Isayah once womitted poetry on a nightmare - The King is dead - Is God - We're!!
Laughing seagulls wanted to selfie Steven Seagal but got into the frenzie universe and had to call;
the number was closed; hands there fisty-cuffed and fold. Money did a parler, and ate bullshit.
I was inside a cinnamon roll. I troll to engross my slow-mo gender biased role and it was embroiled!
Be more Hufflepuff woah what? So I should be ashamed if meritocracy has a chat? When I want
credit due, to get paid for my swat - because Christian is boo, but let's steal a line, then its a cat!
I refuse to raise my hat, if Sunday - worshipers splat, sprouting out shouts of the badger and bat!
Griffindor's compassion is by tough love. You win friends over and enemies, then you fight the fav.
Not by being thawed by political correctness, loyalty or others paws. Standing your ground in public
as the others roar. Appalled by your last man stand - for here I stand and thus I fall!!
Ravenclaw's compassion is by research and request. Getting through dialogue stuff off the chest.
To rest cases by resolve and believing in the best arguments worthy to defeat the rabble and
war-mongering blood-fest. That is the true quest, indeed if you Godspeed by laissez-faire in trust!
Slytherin's compassion is by merit and class. Some have the gift and some have the brass!
Some are insane - alas - but still got something to say thus! Dost that mean, they messed up
they can't guss? It's so sus, to think that all have to be off the same fuss, to be worthy to pass!
Hufflepuff's compassion is the silent witness! Work hard and pray, life sweats you shitless!
Sometimes their shirtless - they gave their last to the first actress who conned them with trolls,
for Peer Gynt liked Cypress, went over the Hill. That is the chess of confess so don't stress...
One doesn't substitute the other, Ass makes a poor mower. Fox is horrible at babysitting hens -
bummer! You can't expect to brainwash people timing their hammers, in the slammer we shall
regress, what tolerance couldn't dimmer. Damning the dams to gatesweep fans into Hamlet's lan's!
Driving into postal delusions; Drive-in has an allusion to hide the zombie-intrusion; socialist collusion of me, myself and I, is on verbal pollution. I polled the fusion of no-sense. The true Zion had a Nebuchadnezzar moment, ate grass to muse scions. I was short-fused and loose to have my argument die on rouse...
Walk a mile in others - what does it mean? Do they turn into you, to return the past into the future?
Common theme, then you dream a gleam and know what you meany... Sometimes it means, that
the butterfly dies under your pin-up and leans. Being dead liberates the chosen fiends... cheers!
Who called shotgun on Empathy? Was that for real, we ought to feel - everybody like me!
The chosen simulacrum do-deem, not nice to be in it for C! You breathe-size AAA or wee!
My pants can't cry out loud on this trial and let it be. The Beatles also clocks clean... meme!
PMR - Purpose/ Method/ Result
I was inclined to write this, after watching some really great Youtube videos about anxiety and suicide. I'm not an expert on this topic, nor do I possess any kind of decree. I just like to write poetry and comment on other peoples content. Just take me as a fellow monkey, who eats your ticks...
Having problems with depression and anxiety myself (Sounds to himself like Gilderoy Lockhart) I found Gestalt Therapy - the only psychological discourse, you can arbiter to yourself, without seeing a doctor. Because coming from a post soviet state, I'm mortally afraid of doctors, just like Americans are afraid of clowns, after seeing "It". Some doctors worked together with the KGB and helped to social engineer them
into "better" people, and Christians didn't fare quite well, for being duped suspicious by the communists. And here I am myself a Communist/ Christian/ lover of Nietzsche's philosophy and poetry (laughs like proffessor Slughorn) Also I really like doing things myself (sounds like Tom Riddle)
Being all the time in the clouds or into the woods, as it's said, I had a hard time finding friends. So I learned a lot and read... and created my own friends, in a Sasori (Naruto) sort of manner. Because puppets can never betray you - they are not alive, so they can do neither good nor evil. But you're not really alive around the dead. (sounds like Rubeus Hagrid) Creating your imaginary friends can only help you so far, as long you realize it. They're an means to an end, and not real. (Sounds like Hermione Granger)
If you're feeling inadequate, work against it (sounds like Harry Potter) not by chanting, I'm not feeling pain - cause you're feeling it! (fight-club) By transforming the pain into pleasure. First of all - DO NOT DO THIS AT HOME ALONE - you will mess up in the beginning, I can promise you, and you might not be an elegant egotist (from Yugioh series) to be able to stick to your agenda. Find a friend or peer you trust, who reads your diary, as you write your imaginary stories in there, just in case it gets over-board. I have done a lot of meditation; witch-craft and other dubious stuff, before finding solutions, what fitted my character. I hope nobody would have to go through my hell's journey and risk eternal damnation, as I did. At a point in my life, I was even a Satanist. Now it makes me sick, then I see Christians, like Pastor Jeff, gloating about "people who like to destroy their Self!" if a person feels the reality around him/her is so surreal, that he/she rather destroys himself/herself in every conceivable way, that deserves compassion and not ridicule. Anxious and depressed people, by all means, feel disconnected from the society - and it doesn't help if you rub it in by stating what they have, to incline that they are still connected and are just imagining it... It doesn't help your computer, then the IT guy puts a hand on the tower and says, "there there, job done!" Still many depressed people, get exactly that kind of service, because people feel ashamed to be related to a depressed person. And the person in it also!!
So what to do, when you have a craving like in the Snickers commercial I so adore, there you're hungry, but not really hungry, and that urge makes your Mogwai turn into a Gremlin? Find out three things. (Sound like Dumbledore)
1. Purpose: What do you want to achieve.
2. Method: How do you want to achieve your goal.
3. Result: How should your achievement look like.
So in mathematical terms P+M=R while P=R So how to do something there the Method must be invisible and translucent from the action, so you wont notice it anymore, after mission is accomplished? Relax most of the times Purpose and Result don't add up, because of the Method you chose, getting too self-important and evident. Again, I'm not a PHD nor MD nor anything. I merely had a discontinued theology study because I couldn't take Eduard Lohse, while having to write a dissertation on one of his books, due to the fact that the guy was flirting with atheism and science in order to look more classy, while being a Christian pastor, what concluded in his notorious sentence, that he is unable to find Jesus in the Bible! That was not the reason why I became a Christian and enlisted in a Seminary to have a degree and become a pastor. To have a wise-ass dimwit tell me how he can't do his job - finding Jesus in the Bible in a scientific language! That's why you become a theologian. How would you feel then your mechanic comes to you and advises against a gasoline engine in your car, then you asked him to fix that car? You would find a new mechanic, who doesn't have an issue against the primal principle of your request - driving a gasoline engine car. You never asked that guy about Tesla generators and stuff. You had a not working gasoline driven car, you wanted to operate as a gasoline driven car. You didn't wanna upgrade - you wanted to enjoy the experience you already got. And then comes a guy, you hired for that job, and starts telling you something, you didn't ask about. That's how I felt reading about Eduard Lohse, and having to write something about it. So I wrote a play about it, and while the teacher was really amused about it. It didn't apply what he was expecting from this class. I knew it too, then I was purposely botching that chance of mine, while this scholarship was half-payed by my pastor himself I deeply respected and revered. and the other part came from a student loan, I took. But I didn't sign up for this. Becoming a gloater, who laughs about his own ideals, in order to be credited by the scientists. I don't need to be credible by the outside, for just as Jesus once told, things from the outside don't corrupt you, things from the inside do! I only have to own integrity before me and God, and that didn't cut it for me...
So I don't belong to my church anymore - not even my former pastor belongs there - just because they there scared of teenagers and adapting to their needs while holding fast to Lohse! I couldn't live with the sarcasm and irony of that... (Sounds like Delfador - Wesnoth)
You have to deal with your insides, because that's there your demons hide, as one of my favorite songs tells. That can elevate or destroy you. Standing in front of the mirror of Erised (Desire backwards - Harry Potter) wanting to find something you don't want to use/abuse!! That's the +-1 what comes from the Method...
Just like in Harry Potter: If you let yourself possessed by Voldemort in order to find true power and meaning of Evil, you might loose too much and not achieve your true goal, what professor Quirell had - being a good teacher of his class.) You have to be detached of your faculty while not being absent-minded of it... You can't be possessed by it in such length that you would kill Harry Potter, who you previously worshiped the ground underneath level. Be sensible and know who you are. (Gnothi seauthon - Greek proverb Socrates was greatly against it, because it was widely abused to gloat your beliefs about yourself and not actual knowledge about yourself. The most notorious was then he took a sign down from an entrance of a villa so the owner could enter, because it stated and oxymoron: "Only the wise can enter!" It's not a wise thing to say that you think yourself wise and want to troll people into confusion on your doorstep as they answer your possible invitation, for it was rood to ignore one, so how should someone fare in front of such sign and not feeling wise enough to enter, while still possessing integrity to notice such oddity, then that person dost not want to dish the landlord? Simply put, not even God can enter such a house!! ) You can only ask yourself to know yourself, without ringing the bell and having a shout out of it... Know why you are that and what you want to achieve in being so and so! That is the real purpose of your life, and no pastor nor mayor nor anybody else can tell you about it but YOU! (Sounds like Sirius Black/Severus Snape in one person)
Seconds: DON'T DRAW ATTENTION TO YOUR METHOD!
Many Christians are method oriented and not mission oriented. They copy-paste the method, what worked in the past, while not understanding why it worked then and dost not work now. In contrast they are like a pazer-chessplayer who only comments copies famous chess player moves and dost not understand his losses, because time does not stand still and people learn from their mistakes and invent new moves and strategies. Try to be something so that people don't notice your method. Just like with pickpockets, if people notice you, you did something wrong and you're out. People don't draw their attention to water flowing in the river, because the river don't send a tweet about flowing in the river. The wind assailing over the mountain and around it, doesn't shout about it and gets unnoticed - but you definitely notice the shouts and tweets of "Christians" how they defeated the Devil; how they shouted an awesome sermon; how they owned their opponent. While Jesus asks us to turn the other cheek. How very Christian of them, I'd rather read Nietzsche, than converse with such people or enjoy the play of Fischer, although mostly he was a picky bitch, when it came to cameras and other stuff related to respect towards chess-players from the Soviet Union, but his insight was priceless... Those two person didn't wanna be perfect Christian embodyments, just like Sören Kierkegaard, fighting his local establishment inside the church, didn't wanna - but I've learned more about true Christendom from those "non-Christians" than from "actual Christians". Why is it that?
Maybe because the method has possessed the cause, and taken the place and roll of God himself? The same issue is with SJW but since I'm not gay nor any other thing inside, I don't want to talk about this. Being a white male with odd tastes, I have enough demons of my own to fight, so I don't need seconds from SJW, thank you very much...
So if you wanna get rid of depression, which I do through poetry and Christendom - that's my bias - find something you believe in no matter what. Even if the world ends in a zombie apocalypse now, what is the thing you wont part from! Expect it do be a journey not a one shot effect. It's not an instant you can play in MTG unless you think your depression, being your opponent, can mana-leak it, owning the worsed control deck you could imagine... It's all about imagination. Sometimes its good, sometimes its evil... the choice is yours which one will take priority over you - the good or the evil. You can be your own personal Jesus... Yet another song I like and admire. (Sounds like Gandalf - Lord of the Rings)
Thirds: BE VIGILANT AND RELENTLESS IN YOUR QUEST!
If something is right it's worthy of pursuit, even if all your friends disavow you Mission Impossible stile... You can't rage-quit your life like some MTG players for loosing a game or not getting their mechanic to work, because of something. That's what suiciding for me really means. You're rage-quitting, giving up on your goals and friends, who trusted and respected you, and you didn't notice em, while being truncated with pain and misery. A lot of things can truncate your senses. Alcohol; staying up too long; too much religion or politics etc. You're taking a shortcut in your actions and sometimes when you do, your A2+B2=C2 becomes A4+B4 / C4, because you reason got shorted out and you cast the baby out with the dirty water so to speak. Don't add things up on top of your Quest. Know what you really want Kill Bill stile. The Indians at Wounded Knee had a worthy cause, they there fighting for their land and cultural inheritance. They there doing it the wrong way, by listening to a false prophet and got butchered. Did the US government and its representatives stop them doing a mistake? Hell no! That's what they needed to get the entire cake and not just a piece of it. They capitalized on that mistake to make the Indians look like witches and trial them by their own errors. And the Indians lost everything! They there committing a ritual social suicide... be better than that and don't give in to your bullies. Be a better person by not letting your Batman turn to Joker or more importantly - your Harvey Dent turn to Two-Face!! Take your luck into your own account, but acknowledge that not always you get things done your way, sometimes you have to go Highway Matrix stile - and you're the key-master. Shit will happen to you; to your loved ones; bad people get excused from their negative Karma on your watch, and you can do very little to nothing against it, while some people are praising that status quo. That's life for you! Touche - c'est la vie! But you can live betters than that and not rage-quit! I chose poetry for that. what will you choose! (Sounds like Walgekaaren (Whiteraven - odd cookie)- Myself)
PS: Don't forget to laugh about yourself and chill every now and then just as I learned from Nietzche's laughing lion! Being too serious is the root of all evil, just like having too much money - because seriousness is the ghost-click currency of society you credit things due. And you can overwhelm and underrate things.
If interest presents itself, I may write more about it - either from myself or readers (why would there be?) til then peace out; respect and Godspeed!
Having problems with depression and anxiety myself (Sounds to himself like Gilderoy Lockhart) I found Gestalt Therapy - the only psychological discourse, you can arbiter to yourself, without seeing a doctor. Because coming from a post soviet state, I'm mortally afraid of doctors, just like Americans are afraid of clowns, after seeing "It". Some doctors worked together with the KGB and helped to social engineer them
into "better" people, and Christians didn't fare quite well, for being duped suspicious by the communists. And here I am myself a Communist/ Christian/ lover of Nietzsche's philosophy and poetry (laughs like proffessor Slughorn) Also I really like doing things myself (sounds like Tom Riddle)
Being all the time in the clouds or into the woods, as it's said, I had a hard time finding friends. So I learned a lot and read... and created my own friends, in a Sasori (Naruto) sort of manner. Because puppets can never betray you - they are not alive, so they can do neither good nor evil. But you're not really alive around the dead. (sounds like Rubeus Hagrid) Creating your imaginary friends can only help you so far, as long you realize it. They're an means to an end, and not real. (Sounds like Hermione Granger)
If you're feeling inadequate, work against it (sounds like Harry Potter) not by chanting, I'm not feeling pain - cause you're feeling it! (fight-club) By transforming the pain into pleasure. First of all - DO NOT DO THIS AT HOME ALONE - you will mess up in the beginning, I can promise you, and you might not be an elegant egotist (from Yugioh series) to be able to stick to your agenda. Find a friend or peer you trust, who reads your diary, as you write your imaginary stories in there, just in case it gets over-board. I have done a lot of meditation; witch-craft and other dubious stuff, before finding solutions, what fitted my character. I hope nobody would have to go through my hell's journey and risk eternal damnation, as I did. At a point in my life, I was even a Satanist. Now it makes me sick, then I see Christians, like Pastor Jeff, gloating about "people who like to destroy their Self!" if a person feels the reality around him/her is so surreal, that he/she rather destroys himself/herself in every conceivable way, that deserves compassion and not ridicule. Anxious and depressed people, by all means, feel disconnected from the society - and it doesn't help if you rub it in by stating what they have, to incline that they are still connected and are just imagining it... It doesn't help your computer, then the IT guy puts a hand on the tower and says, "there there, job done!" Still many depressed people, get exactly that kind of service, because people feel ashamed to be related to a depressed person. And the person in it also!!
So what to do, when you have a craving like in the Snickers commercial I so adore, there you're hungry, but not really hungry, and that urge makes your Mogwai turn into a Gremlin? Find out three things. (Sound like Dumbledore)
1. Purpose: What do you want to achieve.
2. Method: How do you want to achieve your goal.
3. Result: How should your achievement look like.
So in mathematical terms P+M=R while P=R So how to do something there the Method must be invisible and translucent from the action, so you wont notice it anymore, after mission is accomplished? Relax most of the times Purpose and Result don't add up, because of the Method you chose, getting too self-important and evident. Again, I'm not a PHD nor MD nor anything. I merely had a discontinued theology study because I couldn't take Eduard Lohse, while having to write a dissertation on one of his books, due to the fact that the guy was flirting with atheism and science in order to look more classy, while being a Christian pastor, what concluded in his notorious sentence, that he is unable to find Jesus in the Bible! That was not the reason why I became a Christian and enlisted in a Seminary to have a degree and become a pastor. To have a wise-ass dimwit tell me how he can't do his job - finding Jesus in the Bible in a scientific language! That's why you become a theologian. How would you feel then your mechanic comes to you and advises against a gasoline engine in your car, then you asked him to fix that car? You would find a new mechanic, who doesn't have an issue against the primal principle of your request - driving a gasoline engine car. You never asked that guy about Tesla generators and stuff. You had a not working gasoline driven car, you wanted to operate as a gasoline driven car. You didn't wanna upgrade - you wanted to enjoy the experience you already got. And then comes a guy, you hired for that job, and starts telling you something, you didn't ask about. That's how I felt reading about Eduard Lohse, and having to write something about it. So I wrote a play about it, and while the teacher was really amused about it. It didn't apply what he was expecting from this class. I knew it too, then I was purposely botching that chance of mine, while this scholarship was half-payed by my pastor himself I deeply respected and revered. and the other part came from a student loan, I took. But I didn't sign up for this. Becoming a gloater, who laughs about his own ideals, in order to be credited by the scientists. I don't need to be credible by the outside, for just as Jesus once told, things from the outside don't corrupt you, things from the inside do! I only have to own integrity before me and God, and that didn't cut it for me...
So I don't belong to my church anymore - not even my former pastor belongs there - just because they there scared of teenagers and adapting to their needs while holding fast to Lohse! I couldn't live with the sarcasm and irony of that... (Sounds like Delfador - Wesnoth)
You have to deal with your insides, because that's there your demons hide, as one of my favorite songs tells. That can elevate or destroy you. Standing in front of the mirror of Erised (Desire backwards - Harry Potter) wanting to find something you don't want to use/abuse!! That's the +-1 what comes from the Method...
Just like in Harry Potter: If you let yourself possessed by Voldemort in order to find true power and meaning of Evil, you might loose too much and not achieve your true goal, what professor Quirell had - being a good teacher of his class.) You have to be detached of your faculty while not being absent-minded of it... You can't be possessed by it in such length that you would kill Harry Potter, who you previously worshiped the ground underneath level. Be sensible and know who you are. (Gnothi seauthon - Greek proverb Socrates was greatly against it, because it was widely abused to gloat your beliefs about yourself and not actual knowledge about yourself. The most notorious was then he took a sign down from an entrance of a villa so the owner could enter, because it stated and oxymoron: "Only the wise can enter!" It's not a wise thing to say that you think yourself wise and want to troll people into confusion on your doorstep as they answer your possible invitation, for it was rood to ignore one, so how should someone fare in front of such sign and not feeling wise enough to enter, while still possessing integrity to notice such oddity, then that person dost not want to dish the landlord? Simply put, not even God can enter such a house!! ) You can only ask yourself to know yourself, without ringing the bell and having a shout out of it... Know why you are that and what you want to achieve in being so and so! That is the real purpose of your life, and no pastor nor mayor nor anybody else can tell you about it but YOU! (Sounds like Sirius Black/Severus Snape in one person)
Seconds: DON'T DRAW ATTENTION TO YOUR METHOD!
Many Christians are method oriented and not mission oriented. They copy-paste the method, what worked in the past, while not understanding why it worked then and dost not work now. In contrast they are like a pazer-chessplayer who only comments copies famous chess player moves and dost not understand his losses, because time does not stand still and people learn from their mistakes and invent new moves and strategies. Try to be something so that people don't notice your method. Just like with pickpockets, if people notice you, you did something wrong and you're out. People don't draw their attention to water flowing in the river, because the river don't send a tweet about flowing in the river. The wind assailing over the mountain and around it, doesn't shout about it and gets unnoticed - but you definitely notice the shouts and tweets of "Christians" how they defeated the Devil; how they shouted an awesome sermon; how they owned their opponent. While Jesus asks us to turn the other cheek. How very Christian of them, I'd rather read Nietzsche, than converse with such people or enjoy the play of Fischer, although mostly he was a picky bitch, when it came to cameras and other stuff related to respect towards chess-players from the Soviet Union, but his insight was priceless... Those two person didn't wanna be perfect Christian embodyments, just like Sören Kierkegaard, fighting his local establishment inside the church, didn't wanna - but I've learned more about true Christendom from those "non-Christians" than from "actual Christians". Why is it that?
Maybe because the method has possessed the cause, and taken the place and roll of God himself? The same issue is with SJW but since I'm not gay nor any other thing inside, I don't want to talk about this. Being a white male with odd tastes, I have enough demons of my own to fight, so I don't need seconds from SJW, thank you very much...
So if you wanna get rid of depression, which I do through poetry and Christendom - that's my bias - find something you believe in no matter what. Even if the world ends in a zombie apocalypse now, what is the thing you wont part from! Expect it do be a journey not a one shot effect. It's not an instant you can play in MTG unless you think your depression, being your opponent, can mana-leak it, owning the worsed control deck you could imagine... It's all about imagination. Sometimes its good, sometimes its evil... the choice is yours which one will take priority over you - the good or the evil. You can be your own personal Jesus... Yet another song I like and admire. (Sounds like Gandalf - Lord of the Rings)
Thirds: BE VIGILANT AND RELENTLESS IN YOUR QUEST!
If something is right it's worthy of pursuit, even if all your friends disavow you Mission Impossible stile... You can't rage-quit your life like some MTG players for loosing a game or not getting their mechanic to work, because of something. That's what suiciding for me really means. You're rage-quitting, giving up on your goals and friends, who trusted and respected you, and you didn't notice em, while being truncated with pain and misery. A lot of things can truncate your senses. Alcohol; staying up too long; too much religion or politics etc. You're taking a shortcut in your actions and sometimes when you do, your A2+B2=C2 becomes A4+B4 / C4, because you reason got shorted out and you cast the baby out with the dirty water so to speak. Don't add things up on top of your Quest. Know what you really want Kill Bill stile. The Indians at Wounded Knee had a worthy cause, they there fighting for their land and cultural inheritance. They there doing it the wrong way, by listening to a false prophet and got butchered. Did the US government and its representatives stop them doing a mistake? Hell no! That's what they needed to get the entire cake and not just a piece of it. They capitalized on that mistake to make the Indians look like witches and trial them by their own errors. And the Indians lost everything! They there committing a ritual social suicide... be better than that and don't give in to your bullies. Be a better person by not letting your Batman turn to Joker or more importantly - your Harvey Dent turn to Two-Face!! Take your luck into your own account, but acknowledge that not always you get things done your way, sometimes you have to go Highway Matrix stile - and you're the key-master. Shit will happen to you; to your loved ones; bad people get excused from their negative Karma on your watch, and you can do very little to nothing against it, while some people are praising that status quo. That's life for you! Touche - c'est la vie! But you can live betters than that and not rage-quit! I chose poetry for that. what will you choose! (Sounds like Walgekaaren (Whiteraven - odd cookie)- Myself)
PS: Don't forget to laugh about yourself and chill every now and then just as I learned from Nietzche's laughing lion! Being too serious is the root of all evil, just like having too much money - because seriousness is the ghost-click currency of society you credit things due. And you can overwhelm and underrate things.
If interest presents itself, I may write more about it - either from myself or readers (why would there be?) til then peace out; respect and Godspeed!
Friday, October 5, 2018
Crimson King
1.
I
strike a perfect match to surrogate my sticks, slapping
the
wood for the amber and sulfur scent. Nothing is as it
seems;
supplementing the tempest of psyche with inane
fliers
saying “Tempus fugit”, tempering the steer to not show
off,
what I mean, while being a sully… Contempt is all,
I
need, to dissipate into a thin crowd and crown myself Ass-King.
I'm
just asking for opinions, to pin the lion on onions and go scarlet.
2.
Crimson
is the new white, and scarlet the new black; blushing like cologne,
to
vent the suffocated minds some Astair, abstaining the maimed affair
of
seeing
minced meat defeated by suspense. My pencil did not see it cumming,
as
my RC gave up and started a strike, I was on my third and was cold
out.
I
gave my number to the fat lady, so she could sing me something nice,
before
the
curtain curtails my entrails of enraging on the snails and bail out
the running
refrigerator,
what had too much hot coffee. Must have been a hangmans joke…
3.
I
was nodding towards the Flintstones to reprobate the utopia of
perpetual mobiles!
Anger
filled my eyes and became the beholder of beauty and virtuous
stimulations,
what
instigated the matrix of repeated menageries of psycho-morphed
individuals,
sodomized
into S&M like M&M's in a jar. It made me feel betters, that I
didn't
consider
to shoot the Sheriff, and not kill the deputy, while I was dressing
myself
in
womanized ascensions for my calculus exam. Puny in my effort to
distort reality
just
in case, I have to lay down and rest in peace; the closure was
self-evident…
4.
I
filed my maniacs under the carpet, as the animations went berserk,
disengaging
from
old cartoons of bombshell heads blowing your minds. Hebdo was an
asshole,
who
wiseassed the visage of boxing opponents, who there already down for
the
discount.
It was called shadow-doxxing; the ghost-click was just a flicker
away…
It's
funny to see others turmoil, turncoat all dried walls to pink
sucker-punched lines,
as
though decency is decadent and voyeur avant-garde to abstract
savant recipients
of
Homo sufficient batman stories of climbing down the wall to Dante's
inferno!
5.
It
is safe to assume, the ass fumed interludes of Shakespeare's
“Macbeth”
and
I was sitting down stoned and crucified into a hoarcrux of
hoarse-raddish
and
cottage-cheese to make my own golem and do Bruce Allmighty.
As
I did God, the devil was not impressed and framed the mirror empty.
The
details craved for more whistle blowers, who could guide Lyrgoif out
of
the woods as the wicked witch was eating the sandman. The course of
my play
had
an edge in all kinds of evil deeds, I didn't recall on my polygraph…
6.
The
paragraph was long and graffiti hung over the giraffe of stain in Las
Vegas.
Some
generals there fanning out to coup their detachments into
astonishment
of
Cosmopolitan dreams, while remaining entrenched in Vitriol ghettos.
I
arranged my derangements into a derringer of sane stories of inside
jokes.
I
wanted to make the ends meat my last supper; as I was chasing after
the green fairy;
it
was neat to see it go my way and not the wise man say. I was left
over right in the center of the storm eying the last peace of cake in
the shape of the devils triangle.
7.
It
wasn't distasteful at all to appall the apt of craven thrall,
applauding the
Laudanum
of judgment calls to know what the mentally ill may snore, when
water-boarded
to oblivion. I alleviated some graceful anthems of a Queen
that
the show must go on, as the cancer ate my homework. You have to
suffer
for
art, but who makes the deliberations of where they happen! Who art
thou
to
thus say to the lord of popular discord, that you are the blind
customers King?
Even
if I'm wrong, the right is just an inch away from the bulls eye, what
got pierced.
Monday, October 1, 2018
The Summoning
1.
Prospects of virtue, hopes of great venture, you get what you give;
forget what's in your sleeve - is it a hand or an ace, rat-races outpaced.
Maybe the promised land, your trick or your trade, holding your glaive.
Rave the day, the ravens had a say, and men understood out of grace!
2.
Wanting to be famous, hoping to be special, protecting your interest;
you never look for enemies close, but friends afar - like a wormwood jar.
More fears in the mind than Midas could abide as sorrow infests
your time and effort. Null is your impact, when the last breathe is drawn!
3.
Don't cast out demons, more than you'd defeat; don't summon angels,
more than you'd worship! Other mans scorn, some chosen's whip...
A blessing in disguise, what you can't remorse. We're endangered,
when playing God, while suffering like newts - shouldering the chip!
4.
Wanting to be big boys and tough chicks; who is betters our skill or the play?
Summoning passion with rigor to bleed your own success. I confess the excess.
Loosing your mind and burning like a candle - as the wise men once said;
it's not nice to taste the bread from the bowl, milked by the serpents mess...
5.
What you see, you cannot unsee, what you taste unknow from your tongue;
what is real, defined by your choices. Don't choose to jump the ravine!
Many have ventured to never return, leaving behind only sobbed blue songs;
still amazing is youth, how it grows to redeem - fall boys the futures eagles may be!
Prospects of virtue, hopes of great venture, you get what you give;
forget what's in your sleeve - is it a hand or an ace, rat-races outpaced.
Maybe the promised land, your trick or your trade, holding your glaive.
Rave the day, the ravens had a say, and men understood out of grace!
2.
Wanting to be famous, hoping to be special, protecting your interest;
you never look for enemies close, but friends afar - like a wormwood jar.
More fears in the mind than Midas could abide as sorrow infests
your time and effort. Null is your impact, when the last breathe is drawn!
3.
Don't cast out demons, more than you'd defeat; don't summon angels,
more than you'd worship! Other mans scorn, some chosen's whip...
A blessing in disguise, what you can't remorse. We're endangered,
when playing God, while suffering like newts - shouldering the chip!
4.
Wanting to be big boys and tough chicks; who is betters our skill or the play?
Summoning passion with rigor to bleed your own success. I confess the excess.
Loosing your mind and burning like a candle - as the wise men once said;
it's not nice to taste the bread from the bowl, milked by the serpents mess...
5.
What you see, you cannot unsee, what you taste unknow from your tongue;
what is real, defined by your choices. Don't choose to jump the ravine!
Many have ventured to never return, leaving behind only sobbed blue songs;
still amazing is youth, how it grows to redeem - fall boys the futures eagles may be!
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