Picture Perfect

1.

I get sometimes clumsy words,

even though you don't believe;

just don't call me lord or sir –

God, you don't know how that agrieves.

2.

Picture perfect, but not on me –

you must be taking all things wrong;

how can a jerk this goody be;

you must be having fur on your tongue.

3.

Many words don't make a wise;

many poems not a poet.

True art does not disguise

in pretty rhymes and go at…

4.

True virtue becomes in silence;

true meaning in endless thought;

what has a raven to do with guidance

only pigeons in heaven – or naught?

5.

Though white my feathers, still dreadful

not fitting to my own selfish kind

don't get from the sticks a headful;

don't stone yourself like that behind…

6.

Sometimes true light comes in darkness;

sometimes the darkness is light –

gray colors, that only hardens,

harnessing the ivory blight…

7.

Just don't call me good – I am evil!

Don't call me perfect, I'm not;

why should you look at my anvil

to judge there is hammer or wart...

8.

So what if some lines there in handy;

so what if some rhymes came true.

Don't go so full force demanding,

that perfection must be in that blue…

9.

I got no clue there is yonder;

I never know there is the next.

I just write and never ponder;

missing all obvious context.

10.

Just leave me be and don't stare;

nothing here to behold dear...

No angel; no heavens stairs

just a frightened deer!

11.

What if you seen my mares;

what if you seen my sorrows.

Would you still love me and glare

that I must have from God all borrowed…

12.

What if I showed you my cuts –

my soul like a dirt-smothered rack;

what if I show you my knots -

believe me and don't come back…

13.

I'm always been so deeply alone;

solitarily sailing the depth;

don't waste your marrow or bone.

Perfection's not here to be kept...

Heaven and Hell

1.

Heaven is so beautiful – its virtues are all divine;

like radiant gold or silver, like chosen rubies worth.

And yet when the love is done – all that shine –

will feel like hungering darkness, as you fall down to earth…

2.

Heaven is so merciful – so bounteous its ways;

like thousand years shall pass on you – still not knowing yonder.

How pitiless is time, no substance stays the same…

how could you stand mortality and not in darkness wonder?

3.

Heaven is so blissful – no sorrow in your heart

shall linger there and burden you til' your wings could fly.

Darkness is so heavy, draws from God apart;

like the earth so far away from the endless shining sky!

4.

Heaven is so dreadful – he who has tasted it,

beware your darkness around you, for nothing looks the same.

Kingdoms already have crumbled; shattered many wits.

Enlightenment is no power, loosing it is no game…

Hatred

1.

What does it mean? To be alive…

What does it need to be important.

All the mornings vile and divine

when staring the ceiling reluctant…

2.

Is there are reason of haste?

To brush your tooth and go forth…

Hope seems such a waste,

Why avoid south to go north…

3.

To watch your hand before your eyes;

to reach for the dream what never follows.

Fastening the smile like a crooks disguise

as the phone in your pocket bellows…

4.

“Hello, sir, nice to meet you, good day!

Would you have some time for this offer;

It's so cool and so awesome! What say?

Buy this now and we discount you a coffer!!”

5.

Silent nods, shake the head and good bye;

don't even hear what they plead and what faith

do they have on you for the trial.

All love also sounds much like Hate…

6.

Today I woke up and was dead;

my body still moving, insides out of places

hated everything tearing up the bread

to knife on some butter, hand salt so chases…

7.

In the office same old as usual;

if I dropped dead, would anyone notice?

Coffee is hot but on refusal.

Nothing seems to be working to suffice…

8.

Cold angry schedules, role-models paintings –

what ever the reason, it's not gonna better.

It feels like I'm drowning, silently fainting;

breaking my bonds from tether to tether

9.

What does it mean to be alive?

What does it feel to be caring?

To hold someone – live or die;

to be for her to the last daring…

10.

What does it mean to be of trust?

Is that boon only for angels;

can a humans voice shatter the crust;

going beneath and beyond all dangers…

11.

Is it yet time or too late?

Looking the hour glass passing.

Maybe hatred is just a fate

like the blood in your veins still gushing.

12.

Looking back at the time and at morrow

same nuisance to push up and fight.

Empty words and some woe-full sorrow

like some knots on a cord straightened tight.

13.

In the night some gasps and sweet dreams,

how the world would hath been if of luck.

To salvage the crops for the cream:

If I had for every time just one buck...

Prevail

1.

When your wings are clipped and broken;

the dust wont fall down from the air.

when words seem torn, misspoken.

Ash defiling your tears in despair –

just farewell and a murky glare.

Shattered even the last loves tokens…

2.

When the misery is like Missouri;

relentless all the pain – to Hell you sigh.

The friends notice doesn't seem so groovy;

your soul takes up the last flight -

to escape the sight; to evade that blight.

But you stay fast and your lips cant be moving…

Lyrics:

I will prevail, from Hell to Heaven set sail!

I will prevail to forget the past and all the insane!

I will prevail and the shards made whole again.

I will prevail, true strength be drawn from pain!

3.

When the archers surmount you with volleys,

blackening the sun and the skies.

When the dragoons behead your jolly;

in crimson bleeding all your lullabies.

You don't hear your thoughts but a war-cry…

And it doesn't seem you drank that cup just fully!

4.

When you're chewing the shards of happiness;

vomiting out all your guts to glimpse the morrow.

It ain't gonna be pretty, not even a petty mess;

if the crows some mercy for you might borrow…

No more tears for the wicked; no sorrow –

crawling in the bushes like a snake for a hiss.

Insecticide

1.

Wallowing in darkness, creeping out the mind;

gnawing to the liver; the stomach goes round and round.

Butterflies on shoulders; insects crawling the brain –

I want to scratch the itch, cant reach it, lost my golden frame…

2.

Snakes ate up my guts, some moths hatched up the spine:

so deep and full of shit – I could raise to make a farm.

So kinky to my bosom, so poisoned from my lips -

Who will call for shotgun; I will ask for dibs…

3.

Reaching for the gallows; screeching to the wind;

sawdust as my marrow, the arrows in my throat.

Wrist beating like a crooked watch – putting up the test.

Who knows what brings the future – just shovel up the rest!

4.

Besiege me, oh darkness, make your towers high;

I got the sprayer ready, lets rumble through the roof.

To smirk the lasting snicker, farewell the last goodbye.

The colors oozing from the face and hair leaving fragrance; dye.

Pray for good night

1.

Oh my Goddess, so full of fairy light

stepping on the stairs of Heaven and Hell

so fair and so silent merry as the darkness in night

be mine so I might be your guardian angel and fight.

To whisper you my sorrows and tales to tell.

If your lips could speak, but for one spell

just pray for good night!

2.

My nightmare and despair to blight

so spicy like con carne – I hear the mourning bell.

I don't care if its wrong – you're so right,

my demon to snatch and have a flight.

Let's saddle the horses and farewell -

if I had a coin and known a wishing well…

just pray for good night!

3.

My pain and sorrow in the rain to rite

amass the dead crowds for the mass in a shell.

So rusty is the sword and gnawed is the kite

but you could mend it together and have a smite

on the calamity in my soul to ease the smell

of rotting flesh what longs for a bite…

just pray for good night!

Deal with it

1.

When your life's on a button raise

all the other players like the joker.

You're full of regrets as booze in a haze

Your mind goes for a raze

while your stocks don't want any broker.

Thoughts running like rats in a maze…

2.

When you get dealt like under the deck;

the ship sets sail and is water-bound.

You're feeling discouraged like a mental wreck.

All your friends are forsaking you: “What the heck?”

You feel like Hell staring at the gates hound

and you have no meat – not even a speck…

3.

When your in need for a chip

but the bullies on you are all-in.

You're not from their block and not feeling hip

They all glare at you like lashing a whip

how can you go on for the win?

And you don't know who to trust and to ship…

Lyrics

Deal with it for folders never win;

deal with it and have your solemn grin;

deal with it, raise up your broken chin –

that's what it means to be alive

and raise your banner on them

4.

When you're all alone in the dark

trying to read the bluff from the blind.

No memories and happy dreams – no spark.

You feel like a raven between Nightingale and Carl Lark.

Your stats from others so far behind

and the wood in the chimney barks…

5.

When you lost the game and are out;

all looks are still on the table and not on you.

Nothing to feel posh and stout

the throat is dry like Sahara – no shout

to farewell and come back later to boon

for you've exceeded the maximum amount!

Nisuivake peab surema

1.

Siis, kui pimedus sind sööb;

lakkamatu näib patuöö –

keegi ei näe ja keegi ei kuule;

kuradi ees isegi riivi ei sule;

ristimärki ka ette löö –

otsatu paistab lõikaja töö!

2.

Külva ja lõika – seda Taar teab,

paljasjalu vaar minema peab.

Seeme võib kasvada, ainult kui sureb

siis, kui lootusekiir silmad suleb...

Mis on seal vahet: õnnista, nea –

kui käed on vaid taskuis ja hõredad read?

3.

Vigu on alati teise peal laita;

sigu kui paremalt vedades aita.

Hüvem kui mekiksid valitud viina

aga põlgus turjal valmistaks piina...

Sakuta, kurjusta. kiida või paita;

kust võiks küll Kalevast silmale koita!

4.

Siiski ei heitu, tulgu või pagu;

kadalipp saksalt, pappide hagu;

süljelärakas, kaagi rusikas raske;

ärika kelmused, rind mattumas vaske.

Tulgu või musttuhat, nekrut või tragun,

Jumalast kõrgeim ei kellegi pagun!

5.Ärgu, oh Jumal, vaid seda mul anna:

leskede muret ja orbe peaks kandma,

kui see, kes neil asjata kurja on teinud;

liiaga võtnud ja lubjates seinu

veristeil tänavail, nagu ei sinna

su inglite pilk ei võiks iialgi minna!

6.

Ärgu nii olgu, et minul on vähe,

et keegi mult küsib – ja hääl nõnda kähe!

Laululind vaikib ja kraaksudes vastu

siis kui teise seisma sunnin – ise veel istun.

Egas ma Jumal? Nii üldse ei lähe;

ära siis seda tobu nahuta pähe...

7.

Ons minul aru ja ons minul Tarkus?

Mis see siis olgu – kas minu pealt Arpus!

Kui sa mind leidsid, ma läksin vaid hukka;

eksisin ära, kui metsa risustund tukka.

Huigates kullina, pullilt nina pidi kargul,

veeti mind ühelt turult teisele Harku...

8.

Oh, minu Jumal, sina ju tead:

ei lord iial paigatud kuube vea;

silmil ei pane – eks need pole prillid. –

Kuid paigatud mõtteid küll hoiavad kinni.

Nagu see kuld, hõbe, vask – miski hea...

Aga hiljem kohtukull parandab rea!

9.

Keegi kalossist ei rüüpa ju veini;

sitaga Meriväljal ei täida basseini!

Keegi ei riietuks musta kilekotti;

topisena õlal ei kanna surnud rotti!

Ometi, Jumal, see küll saab geimi,

kes kunagi elus pole puhastand heini.

10.

Mis küll on nägemus, mis küll on vastus?

Kas arutu walgekaaren saab Karude vastu?

Kas kägu teab lõõrida või lammas teab laulu,

kuidas küll vääritust Saulist sai Paulus.

Vahest mu käsi väärab ning silm viltu kistud

ja palk sellest välja ei tule kui pind saamas kirstuks...

11.

Sinu rüütlid ja paladinid, sinu prohvetid kallid!

Oh, mu Jumal, murest kõik mutid on vajunud halliks!

Ei ole sabu ja ei ole sarvi – ümarad tünnid kõik;

ei ole häbi ja ei ole närvi – asjata kaikumas hõik!

Kas peaks end mässima ümaraks palliks –

eh, anna siis jalaga ja kaugele salli...

12.

Salli matused käivad meil hüvad –

selles mehed, kui preester peab Püha:

Matame maha ja kaevame üles;

eile kui Boss – täna pommi pead süles

rahvale pilkeks ja näituseks üha. –

Meri soppa ei uputa; unusta müha...

13.

Üks on liig noor ja teine liig vana,

hinnates kuluvad aastad kui küünlavaha.

Kõik on kui koist söödud, silmad täis valet;

näpp mansetil rehkendab malet või kabet.

Müüdavad kõik – siiski nõuavad näha,

mis Jumal sest arvab, kes võimule Täna!

14.

Oh, Jumal appi, pea pohmas on valus;

nõnda mul tundub siin Eestimaa elus.

Mis peab küll saama, kust leidub abi,

et maad ei vallutaks tülin – Kentauri kabi

uhketelt Tammedelt, nagu pulmamelus,

koort nagu pruuti ei rööviks kõiges ilus?

15.

Hinnata antud said kõik sinu sõnad;

ristil sa kõlkusid, makstes võimatu võla.

Palju tarku kui kalu sa merest püüdsid

aga nüüd nad end aujärjeil vägevaiks hüüdsid!

Mis tuleks küll teha, et süda, mis kõva

saaks pehmeks kui mesi, kuid ei põgeneks ära?

16.

Leekides põlemas kirikutornid;

muresid nähes pilknäod nõnda mornid.

Varemeis irevil perekond sandiks;

lapsed kui segased vallutus pandiks.

Pilt taskus köhib ja meenutab Lordit

kui tüdruk noa vaikides koristab tordilt.

17.

Surm on nii ilustet, elu vaid blassiks

ei teda kutsuta isegi kollaseks kassiks.

Keegi ei oota, muinasjutte ei looda;

ninast nokitav pole huvi, kes täna poodav.

Juhtub ju alati see loomulik klassik:

noorik, kes näkina Stroomi randa marsiks...

18.

Kellelt saab nõu ja mis mehelt jõudu?

Mehed vaid tööl jutlustavad õudu,

kuidas ülemus paha ja palk on nii väike

aga käsipidur peal ja ei vaheta käike!

Külmas veebruaris plastrehvidel sõudu –

ei ole sellistest tööjuhtidest iial põudu!

19.

Jumal, sa tead, mida rahuks on vaja?

Ära siis ometi peida kui Ruja,

seda meil silmist, et Kalevid lolid;

jooma küll kanged kui soomülka kollid.

Ärgu kõrva lahuta peast kibe vereoja,

kui mõõk Peetruse käes nõudmas on oma!

20.

Sina ju ütlesid prohveti kaudu:

„Naisest saab asja, ta juhiks veel haudub!

Otsige varju ta undruku juures –

naine kaitseb Meest, nii väikses kui suures.

Nõnda, kui Ruuben, esmaseks antud,

tänagi mehed naise arvele kantud...

21.

Kui kõik saab sündima, pea endas aru,

vahest ehk mehestki taevas on kasu.

Et ei peaks lobasuu viimane sõna

olema solvanguks, loobuma Sina!

Anna siis andeks ja lepita isu,

millega mehi nii põrgusse kisub.

22.

Oh tänu, mu Jumal, kui suured su rajad;

kõik tallid ja töömajad, sepikojad!

Häärberid, talud ja sauniku lautrid;

põiktänava tupikud, suusamäe keldrid.

Kõik Sina valmistand Iidamast ajast –

mida veel hing igatseda küll vajaks!

Don't save me from darkness

1.

Roses are black violets untrue;

violently pushing my grudge into smiles.

It's suit and tie and more sticky rules

but the hand is not talked back while on blues

and the wind blows me gales.

2.

The moon is shining – I'm stuck like on glue;

bewildered and beguiled falling like a tile.

Still not saying a word not leaving a clue.

Crumbling form inside and smothering like cur.

Haven't seen the light for a while…

3.

Angels fly in the sky and demons on the ground roam;

My heart is like a train what jumped for the ravine a mile.

The brain gives up like dissipating foam;

guts like slivering snakes in the dark groan…

I guess I broke a nail or some tooth so pass me the file…

4.

Blind in my patient solitaire in solitude I moan

Oh the pain – cutting the cords – why wont you die.

Its getting dark already the time is getting slow;

waiting for the warden to strike the final blow

pushing up daisies with a pose for high fives…

5.

Forgetting the happy days to get over with that loaf

the meat is tender and the taste is rather shy.

Go away – you miserable decrepit oaf –

who shall love the lore of a bearded goat?

Judging from a characters merry lullaby…

6.

Snuffing a prayer while searching on styx a boat:

When there can't be a win don't let it be a tie –

stalemates are solemn but don't make me gloat;

please don't leave me in darkness to rot

or just kill it already – yours truly a lowly fly…

7.

Don't need friendships – that sunk like a stout:

the bottle came from Titanic and there goes the bye.

Don't come panting for your words reroute

That's not what its about? What is a bout?!

True colors ain't ugly a no is just fine…

8.

Don't need pity – I got that cake in the lot;

Its yours and not mine; yours and not mine -

the last deadly kiss what I poisonously got…

Oh God, it tasted so good to will not.

So don't hold on to my darkened shine!

9.

Let it go; let go of the foxes trot!

Poison Ivy's are gushing through my veins

my skeleton like a deer-licked grotto,

but there is no salt – so don't stutter.

Like love like war no booty as you is such gain…

10.

Blowing a whistle and drinking my last shot:

Don't save me from darkness, for you are the same.

Like a cord tied to a noose with a knot;

just hang me out for the ravens to have a chat,

don't worry the tears, for soon they'll forgot