Jesus loves you!

 I'm not even entirely sure, if I should write this. Perhaps the fox rained in my brain or something. I don't know. But I was thinking. In order to start from the beginning, lets tell a meme story or a Parable first. Yes. The story of a False Prophet, who saw Jesus, who told him, He loves Him so. 

It goes like this. Once upon a time in a Theology Seminary, there was boy, who wanted to become a Prophet, but alas, he was not a 3rd generation Christian nor from a good upbringing. Just a petty bastard, born out of marriage. Who wanted to be loved by God and his Family. So what could he possibly do about it? Even if his grades there the best and even if he could make his Sermons go into the soul like honeydew, would it matter between flesh and blood? He was not a brave Christian, but a people person, who loved to please the crowd and be well renowned and outspoken. How to become the Prophet, then all who walk with God shall become an Abomination to the World! Does that please the crowd, then your rent is due and the eviction notice happens to a beloved person in society, who should not deserve that? Or if a youngling finds his/her undeserving end, there is the Word of God? What could a Prophet tell to the weary, who wanted nothing from Heaven but booze and entertainment! Why take that away, and distraught the troubled of mind more, by telling them: "You shall go to Hell on this road you walk now, repent ye sinner!!" -- "How dare I call upon someones splinter over my own log files?!" So the boy grew bitter and resentful against the Lord and against the Word, that there was no way around it, but to tell the Gospel and some will accept it and others will not and do away with their lives and themselves. And there was nothing to do about it what so ever... So the boy became a false prophet and imagine things in his minds eye and head, to omit the ways of the Lord, much like in the parable of the unjust servant, who had to give up his Stewardship. He also wanted to spite his Lord, to grant restitution to all of them, who had something, with his Lord, who was so inconciderate to Him and the World. After all, why should be the Heavens be denied to the sinners? Just because they don't know lord Jesus Christ! Maybe they wanna rather know Zarathustra; Mahatma Gandhi; Mother Theresa or some other known or unknown God or Important person or deity in the course of History or rather trust in science or party, which ever comes first... 

And before the boy knew, he had outgrown his mind and made it an entire Nation, and 8 great spirits hosted this mighty proud Christian mind, who wanted to pride himself of raising the Cross of the Lord for Him thrice. And behold, he was a plasphemer and a Witch and a False Prophet in front of the Lord. Because that was not the propper way of A Christian to be, to not only have a mind of his own, how things should be on Heaven or on Earth or Underneath, but 8 Minds inside to mind for Me Myself and I!! Nobody had attempted it in such grandeur artefice -- perhaps not even Nietzsche and Akutagawa themselves, mighty in their craft... 

Lord Jesus Christ looked down on his disciple and saw him to be a blaspheming Witch, who was living like a false prophet, who's weights there as fake as a devaluated legal tender on an inflation spree. His first Shekel was 17 geras and the second to witness the first was 22. Together he had 39 geras -- only one away from the mark!! And lord Jesus Christ was discontent with that, because He had given the boy 2 Sheckels 20 geras each -- and now the boy was buying with 17 and selling with 22! How could this have happened?!!? 

"Listen Raphael!" Said Lord Jesus Christ and the Angel answered: "Sir Jes Sir, what is your bidding my Lord!" "Look at this one there, what do you see?" said Lord Jesus Christ in a gentle voice, like a cool summer breeze. The Angel Raphael looked down of Heaven, low and behold: "I see blasphemy! There is 17 geras in the first Sheckel and 22 in the second to witness that. This is indeed a Christian who has forsaken you and must be put to death, because he's a witch and a False Prophet, who doesn't proclaim your ways truely but in spite, that he cannot be your Prophet nor anything great in the Church and He knows that! Will you let me smite him down at once, and it will be done so!" and the angel drew his sword, but lord Jesus Christ put his hand on his arm and said: "Hold!" and the angel put his sword back waiting for the word. 

"I like this one..." said lord Jesus Christ in a coy and playful way as though a child was talking about a misbehaving pet in a shelter, about to be put to death, because nobody wants it. 

The Angel gazed at lord Jesus Christ saying nothing, waiting for the Lord to give His command, hand still at the sword, to go out at once, should the hammer fall. 

"Would you become his guardian angel, if I asked you to?" replied lord Jesus Christ, as to have awoken fom a slumber or further the plot of an ancient conversation, they had, a thousand years ago or so it seemed... 

"Sir yes Sir!" Exclaimed the angel, without moving a muscle in his stony and relentless gaze or face or posture, what was still about to trounce on that boy, who was a Christian, but also a blaspheming Witch and a False Prophet. 

Lord Jesus Christ looked at Raphael amused and retorted: "Even, after he abused your name, to gain my attention?" "It matters very little, how I feel about my work and service to you, my Lord, but that it will be done!" exclaimed the angel without mercy or remorse. 

"... not to mention all the other names, he has called in vain, without mine or anybodies permission." concluded lord Jesus Christ and kept staring down from the Heavens, like watching an intriguing contemporary artpiece, which value could elude most of Mankind. 

"This is what I shall do." stated lord Jesus Christ and stood up, and so did the Angel Raphael and bowed in reverance to wait for the command: "My lord?" 

"You shall become his guardian angel..." The Angel was waiting for it, because his Lord and Master wasn't done with the order. "...after I have paid a visitation to his soul..." The Angel was waiting for it, because his Lord and Master wasn't done with the order. "...then there is still something left of him to repent and atone, for what he did..." The Angel was waiting for it, because his Lord and Master wasn't done with the order. .. then and only then you shall be his guardian angel, as he wished for so verily to use your name in vain!" 

And the Angel bowed down in front of Lord Jesus Christ in reverance and eerily silently muttered. "Please, my lord, have mercy on his soul!" before respectfully retreating from his Masters presence to do his daily business, until he was required to sheppered the rest, if there even was a rest to be speaking about later or that moment to behold and contemplate... And the boy knew nothing about the judgment, what was to be rendered upon him. 

So there he was, fucking around in his mind, as he always did, and Jesus presented hHimself in his full atire. Holyness and Crossmarks in the hands and the thorny crown on the head, also the pike mark in his chest to verify his death on the cross. "I love you!" "Would you be my Prophet and speak my Word to the Wicked as I say it unto you?" and he winked and nudged at me like lovers do, in a teasing fashion. 

"Fuu-uck" snorted the boy and ran away. "Did I say something wrong?" Was lord Jesus Christ amused and moved on with his visitation. On another part of his mind, the boy was raising bloody hell up in his mind, to forget about that he just saw, then from behind the tree sprouted out a happy go lucky lord Jesus Christ and opened his loving embrace: "I love you! Would you witness me in front of the adultering lot, as the world is these days, All those worshippers of the lips, who think, its a good service to the lord and oral jobsters? No?" 

And the boy wailed: "Shiii-iiit!!" and wiggled and slithered the other way, like a serpent and disappeared in a thin air. 

"I like it, then they play hard to catch..." muttered lord Jesus Christ and continued. 

The boy ran into the Halls of his Pride, but he was not at office and had left him a note.

"You know what, fuck this shit, I'm out, and you can fuck yourself and kiss your ass, Goodbye!" 

"There is my pride gone?" did the boy his surprised Picachu face and went on to seek out his vanity to hide in there. Vanity was looking at him, all spooked and asked what the problem was, and who was he running from this time...

"Jesus loves me!" exclaimed the boy in a squeeky voice not lowder than a mouse gazing under the window, if somebody noticed him there, and whether anything could even hear that outside, somehow. 

"That's a good one!" roared Vanity and clapped her thighs. "I never laughed more in my life!" and then she looked with a soft smile, "You really should be a Comedian you know..."

"Shut the fuck up, I'm serious!" hissed the boy only receiving a not very convinced "Oh yes you are" smirk back "I just saw Him in full atire, Holyness and everything..." muttered the boy more to himself than to Vanity. 

"So what was He wanting ado with you, if I may ask?" Vanity started to file her thinger nails, because the conversation wasn't really going anywhere in between and in the middle. 

"He wants me to be His Prophet for all I care and witness Him in this God Forsaken World...."

"Really now?" Vanity remarked in a coy way. "Oh that's so nice of Him, aren't you a lovely Christian, with 8 spirits in your mind. Knock yourself out, tiger!!" 

"You do know, if I become a Prophet I become also Holy?" started the boy in a silent voice, still trying to gaze underneath the window, if anybody is outwhere. 

"Wut?!" Vanity stopped filing her thingernails and pointed the file nonshallantly and with a threat: "You seem to be going there..." 

"Yes." Remarked the boy and Vanity looked at him, like she couldn't believe her ears. 

"Excuse me? What did you say??" Vanity came very close to the boy and lifted him up to stare his face, only a knife apart "That means, everything will be purged, what isn't entirely from the Lord, just because He spoke with me. For nothing Prophane whatsoever can come with contact with the Lord, even if it sat on the same chair, the lord used to sit, but due to the Holyness either the chair or the sitter must perish, because he had an unsolicited contact with the lord!!" 

And before anybody, could say more, there was a knock on the door.

"Oh no, He found me, now what shall I do?" whimpered the boy in distress and Vanity shood him out the back door like a stray cat. "Out with you, will you! Hit the Road, Jack! If you do that funny business with me in my house, you're not welcome in here anymore. And I thought you there joking with that. You -- a Prophet -- And I should be purged for it?? Well not in here, will you!" 

And then the boy ran to the den of Malice, but it was nowhere to be found, because it swallowed itself as a whole before he could enter and left only but a middle thinger. 

Before he could run some more, he was turned around and gazed into the loving eyes of lord Jesus Christ, who whispered in a soft voice. "I love you, my dear!" and the boy broke down and started crying. Lord Jesus Christ looked faintly intrigued by that and asked. "Can I help with that?" 

"How can I possibly be your Prophet with one of my Sheckles 17 and the other 22?! And Behold I'm a Blasphemer Witch False Prophet Christian who would rather preach about booze and entertainment than what you really say. Forsake me now! For I don't deserve your presence, but have to die in disgrace for being like that. Please end me now!!" 

But Lord Jesus Christ put His thinger on the boys lips and hushed him silent like a mother would and the boy stopped Crying gazing into Lord Jesus Christ, waiting for the hammer to fall. "I don't care, I will love you anyway!" 

"What there you thinking with that question: "If I rape the lord, then due to the law about rape, does that also mean, that God is bound to marry me, or else be marred for good. Does that mean, I shall become over all, what is in the house of God, as the Man?" 

And lord Jesus Christ was staring down the boy amused, while the boy seemed to be shrinking in unease, shivering like suffering from hypothermia. 

"It was a stupid thought..." the boy could finally mutter as an answer. 

"You can always try and see what happens." replied lord Jesus Christ in an encouraging tone, like a football coatch rallying the class to perform. 

"I don't feel so good about that one..." doubted the boy not daring to look at the lord anymore, but was keenly intrested in his shoelaces. 

"Where's the holdup? You where quite brazen conceiving it, Why not?" teased lord Jesus Christ and made the boy look into his eyes again. 

"My dick would probably melt or cease to exist, before it even reached you, not to mention any angel in the middle and in between the Heavens killing me off, which ever happens first..." trried the boy to reason away with it.

"Its the thought, that counts!" retored lord Jesus Christ again with a warm encouraging tone and a following smile, if he was sending his son to school to the first day or something along the line. 

"You can't be serious, my lord?" but he had to stop, because all of the sudden lord Jesus Christ stopped being nice and was rather very Holy and Exalted. Thousand upon Tjhousand Angels there swarming like a torrent of a storm in which eye was lord Jesus Christ gazing down upon the boy, who couldn't even speak anymore, waiting for the hammer to fall. 

"Behold mortal, so you want be so chad that you can make even your lord God your Bitch? Be my guest, because as is told before you through the Bible. Every Word of A Christian Shall Be Tempered With His God And Measured With The Same Weight -- And Even Tjhough It Could Be, You Are Not Worthy Now. You Shall Suffer The Yourney Even It Kills You And I Shall Fuck The Living Shit Out of You, Enjoying Every Step You Make Towards Me With Loving-Kindness. I'm Gonna Be Enjoying It Reeaaally Slow Like Molasses -- And You Shall Deliver the Full Weight Of Every Single Word You Have Ever Spoken In My Name, Until They Come True!!" And the boy fainted by the shere terror of the booming voice and message he Beheld and the Torrent and Angels there gone, and Lord Jesus Christ beheld His Work in satisfaction. "And by the way..." spoke lord Jesus Christ as an afternote before He bid farewell. "Raphael, the Angel, who's name you used in vain, shall be your Guardian Angel!" Then it was done, Lord Jesus Christ left and Raphael the Angel entered the fray, mopping the floor and putting the boy together who just melted away like the terminator. While he was doing his thing, he didn't speak a word and showed no emotion what so ever... 

Was that verdict just or what else should have lord Jesus Christ have done to the boy with two Scheckles, one 17 and the other 22 geras, only one geras off of 40! A Christian, who was a Blaspheming Witch False Prophet? Should the boy get away with it or should he pay the piper? What say you, ye Christians, who you sit on the seat of the Lord? What is your verdict?