How to put things up on YouTube?

 I know, how its done, but for a Man, who is affraid of his own shadow... I once tried and couldn't suffer the idea, that people could actually watch my upload on MTG, so I took it down only 30 seconds later. There was nothing wrong with it, but I just couldn't handle it. The same is true, then I had to say the Sermon in my Church, then I was still a member and studied Theology, Sometimes we needed practice lessons... it was the horror. I still don't know, how I survived them. I could only take 22 people in the church listening and watching, counting me in. My Theology wasn't bad at all and one of the best in class, but the nerves! :$ 

How do you preach, then you have such a debilitating disorder? I cant stop overthinking, what the cake would think, then you eat it, that I don't have to even mind the rediculous ToS YouTube got, because my demons are way worse... :(( Only if somebody else had the camera I could attend the Psychology class and do our auditions, to get in the zone and forgetting about everything, to stop the overthink. Its not so bad with poetry, because... I guess I don't take it with too much pathos and seriousness and my lade back nature pops out... But standing in the pulpit...? Yeah, no thanks... Id rather be teasing demons and have a brawl instead... X^D So now I got this off my chest. Have a nice day <3 UWU