S6. Ep 23 (129) Star Trek: The Next Generation "The Rightful Heir"
Allow interaction!! Don't create degenerate loli shit, in an BDSM environment, what makes the chads dick shrink, if to use this kind of figure of speech. Nobody likes to play as though all his cratures are vanilla 1/1 what cannot attack nor block. First we need to grade the abilities, and you can correct me, there I am wrong, because that is my taste and opinion. ^^
Lev. 0 Defender; Pacifism (can't attack nor block); Elemental (creature leaves play after end of turn)
Lev. 1 Haste; Reach; First Strike
Lev. 2 Trample; Death touch; Vigilance
Lev. 3 Menace; Lifelink; Flying
Lev. 4 Flash; Hexproof; Indestructible
Lev. 5 Equip; Enchant; Double Strike
Those are the regular abilities... next come the obnoxious ones what need to be nerfed with somekind of downside or increase in cost and/or decrease in creature stats.
Lev. 6 Counterspell on either activated ability or spell
Lev. 7 Sacrifice creature deal one damage
Lev. 8 Sacrifice x creatures/permanents per damage dealt to creature
Lev 9 Sacrifice x permanents per direct damage or mill x amount of your library, cause declared attack.
Level 10 Planeswalkers!!!
There's nothing more broken than the loyalty system of Planeswalkers, because you cannot remove their emblems in any shape or form, for them are not counters nor artefacts. There is no interaction with them, and they stack. You can have any number of them from various sources. If they acted like global effect, there the next one cancels the previous out, it would be cool, but Nooh, it must be permanent and unremovable. Not to mention the abysmal way starting loyalty is measured. or certain effects, what break the game. Everybody still has nightmares of Oko and the excuse, that the devs only used it defencively, not to turn any permanent vital to somebodies strat. into an elk. You also should not have more planeswalkers than one, unless it says seven brothers or 3 sisters etc. Some planeswalker abilities should be rebranded as Sorcery spells, what can only be played, then the planeswalker is in play!! They should then include, "You loose the game at end of turn" because there are so many fnishing moves, you don't wanna see stack on each-other. Learn from Mortal Combat and other such games, who limit the amount of Special moves, to achieve fun gameplay. Why can't you, Wizards?!!?
Right now, the gameplay is like executing a Troyan wurm! no joke, the amount of interaction with your deck, then a trigger commences, how many times a deck needs to be shuffled and looked upon or graveyard, doesn't mind very well, how physical cards work. It's very time consuming and dull. I purposely didn't include scry and other deck search abilities, because I don't think, they should ever be printed on any creature. They should cost the blue player a card, by playing a spell, what goes into the graveyard or exile not cicles itself back to the deck or permanently reduces its cost remembering that anywhere and bouncing around, like a bad meme of Yugioh GX Never ever, should there be a loop, there a spell goes into the graveyard -- into exile, then back to the deck or graveyard and back to the hand!! If games or software was developed so poorly, as Wizards and Hasbro does his game mechanics, they'd face a class action lawsuit, for creating malware...
In order to grade a creatures level
Lev. 0 Vanilla (Nothing on it, just the base creature)
Lev. 1 Mana cost is equal to Power and Toughness.
Lev. 2 Mana cost is equal one ability
Lev. 3 Mana cost is one less one ability
Lev. 4 Two abilities
Lev. 5 Mana cost is one less Two abilities
Lev. 6 Mana cost is two less
Lev. 7 Three abilities
Lev. 8 Mana cost is one less Three abilities
Lev. 9 Mana cost is two less Three abilities
Lev. 10 Just your ave. Mark Rosewater build doubling everything for no reason.
Whenever the manacost is greater deduct one level per amount, or negative ability as you increased it. Its not hard to code, to make a excel spreadsheet type of program, what takes the information and says, if a card is balanced or not. Its jut corporate lazyness and loving the money more than the customer, because you are catering to the board, not to the player!!
Extra features IF these abilities are together on one creature count an additional level because interaction is its own ability, which should be annotated.
Lifelink+Death Touch -- I really despise this concept, which lorewise makes no sense. How do you drain lifeforce whithout poisoning yourself, then every damage you put out, kills. Even the Gorgon can kill itself in the mirror!! It should be a oneshot effect, the moment those effects merge, allowing it as a great ambush mechanic to stop somebodies lifelinker or death toucher, by granting it the opposite ability, the same as positive and negative counters are attributed...
Menace+Trample is a +3 It is already hard to block, and then you wave over as well.
Flying+Trample -- Motherfucker, how can a bird have a Rhinos or Elephants force, while still being agile and nimble, if you dont account dragons or Spynxy At least +7 with sac a permanent every turn, to keep around!!
Menace+Vigilance+Trample *Insert Asian Meme about son getting a D in History here* Just fucking exile to the shadowrealm yourself... :V
Vigilance+First Strike +5 so you want to attack every single turn, while not tapping out and good luck, if someone wants to block you?? There should be more venom effect like in the first Kamigawa block with the orochi, there if you received damage, you tapped out and couldn't untap during your next untap step. It should be called "Venom" and goes to Lev. 3 abilities.
Menace+First or Double Strike +9 unless its a 1/1 with huge drawbacks, like loose the game in 3 turns, it shouldn't even exist.
Flying+Double Strike -- How do you have pack tactics in air while being a single creature?? Only a swarm of harpies can continuesly fight in air, because its a SWARM!!
Anything on top of Hexproof or indestructible. Hexproof making your creature impervious to your opponents spells, I never liked the concept, how it still allowed positive enchantments and equipments to function on top of it. If it denies all interaction, it should go all board and include You! Indestructible should be a golem effect, meaning you are brainless, and cannot add on intellect. You do just one thing, attack and walk through everything, without any skill nor merit. why should you be immortal Natsu Dragneel?? Even Korra had limitations, being the Avatar, and could die in the plot. Why can't indestructible creatures also have limitations!! And If you dare put Hexproof on top of Indestructible the Asian son got an F!! It should be a loose the game effect, and viable ambush. Imagine, somebody pestering around with his indestructible creature, and you grant it Hexproof he has no counters and winning the game like that. X^D that gives some noggin joggin gameplay and fun!
If a creature is multiple creatures, its type should be Swarm and it should cost mooore than the regular creature would about x to the amount of participants in the swarm. It would be like prototype, there you get either one creature or the entire circus effect. Normally I don't like prototype for the way it is used, because its obnoxious like Ben 10 gloating over saving the universe from the Highbreed. Creatures should have equipments only to the amount they have hands. Birds should not be able to lift armor and weapons, unless they recant flying and an amount of toughness to the equipment level. If its too heavy, you die, like irl. You can't wear multiple armors, unless they specifically say, they supliment each-other. It should again be, one replaces the other. In total you should only have a stack of four. Making it a strategy of counting, like in Texas Holdem Poker, does the opponent have dead weight, to counter your equipments effect and cloak your badass creature useless. Enchantments should counter each-other, then they are too powerful, because how can you activate opposite or different angle currents on the same sphere? How does that work out, without breaking the immersion? There should be an effect, thenever you place the fourth enchantment on the same creature, that you remove one at random, for being countered, or smother the creature, and put it to exile not even to graveyard. Sometimes you want to see your creature there, so it would again be a fun interaction, than the average grind... UWU
Fun additonal abilities, IDK how to put so I need your kind help. OvO
Parry "effect triggers like first strike, render attacking or blocking creatures one ability void" can have multiple parry, designated with number, never higher than 3 even if effects stack, for obvious reasons. No need to create the unbreakable shield. its meant to disrupt combos and mechanics and have interaction. Don't wanna see it spammed on every other creature though.
Relentless -- You gain an additional attack faze this turn, but loose the next attack faze on your next turn. Got inspired by exsert, and didn't like the original, what had no drawbacks. Can only be activated once per single turn, regardless of creatures having it, and not on that turn, you are fatigued from relentless, this effect cannot be removed, unless you wipe the board.
void -- if this creature deals combat damage to a player, destroy target emblem. If that player has no emblems, he looses the game. Each time, you play such a creature, your opponent gets three life emblems. A good idea, to flicker your opponents such creature, to get more life ;))
doublecross -- Reverse the polarity of target attacking or blocking creatures ability. Death touch grants indestructible; Life Link additional damage; draw cards mills them instead or discards from your hand First strike becomes second strike and Double strike becomes Pacifism etc.
Respect the Colour Pie, it is there for a Reason!! How would you like a White Shaft? or an Asian Wakanda? Yeah, then don't motherfucking generate creatures, who are like diagonally parallel horisontal verticals and devils forks. Its not fun to behold and play, then something is like an alt-right nigger/gaijin/SJW antifa member... don't you agree? :o There is a reason, why you don't put all the colours on the same canvas, because you want to see the picture, not paint it black and guess, what was being tried to reference with that blob... or blind people with too much sharpness and contrast. "Respect the band!" has been the best advice I heard from an artist who made backgrounds for others. For you don't want to be the main event -- you highlight the main event, not take over the show. Because they call the shots and pay the bills -- you don't wanna loose that love.
How do you respect a Man, who throws his own coffee in the gutter, before even drinking it? Do you give him your money and stuff? Hell Noo!! The same issue I have with Hasbro and Wizards of the Coast, and why I don't play their stupid game. Its a matter of respect towards them and myself. I just cannot agree with such deprecating philosophy, of hating your own customer base. I naturally will forgive them, like Nietzsche and Jesus Christ taught me, their want to make money and please their board; but I wont ever forgive, them pissing off their customer base, for the customer is always right. We paid for it and we call the shots!! *Insert Picard scolding Worf for not coming to shift, because he attempted to summon Kahless* This is simply unacceptable!! :o You can do better Wizards and Hasbro!
Don't let the Gringe steal your Christmas, have fun! UWU
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