I love my work as a security guard, although I only get minimum wage. I only do it for the overtime. I would go nuts, if I have nothing physical or subordinate to do, to keep my ravens eye asleep. Here are the things, I have learned from my field of work, if you also consider that trade.
1. Don't derogate a security guard, for picking exactly you out of the line -- it doesn't make it any easier. Normally there are cameras everythere, you would only force him to give you the whole 9 yards, for making a public fuss. Especially don't mention your army training; your security training; your K-Commando training, because, its useless information for that kind of routine thing -- unless you got a problem with this job or stole something, did something else, the security should look into it. Be as boring as possible, to not give the security guy reasons, to hold you up. Insert Schwartzenegger meme gettting late to home, and begging the old cop to make haste. Never do that!
2. Don't talk back to a security guard, then you are wrong! If you force a security guard to write a report on you, they wont be your best friends. Because, the formulars are always a luxury item. Also, because of the "Customer is always right" it wont look nice, then the cornered dog jumps your throat... Be nice and ask as much infor about, why you are being pulled away by a security. Normally Security guards work 12 hour shifts and they have no motivation to molest you and make the local antagonize them back. The one, who are troublemakers, usually don't make it past the exams or 3 months period.
3. If you have something to complain, write a complaint and don't flash it in front of his face. Be discreet about it, because even in soccer, the guy receiving the red card, is allowed to keep his dignity!! Why do you want to detriment the security guy? Maybe he really likes this job and you're making it harder. Also report all theft you see in the shop -- with that, you turn the heat off the security, who is not molested by the shopowners to play undercover cop outside of work time. Again, be discreet. People don't need to know, its you -- there is no scoreboard nor badges for it. Not many know, that all theft is paid by the customer. If you wonder why your milk and groceries cost exactly that -- because people turned a blind eye, then a fellow Robin Hood was at work, because the Security guy is the enemy!!
4. Security guards are not friends and don't go to parties; nor do they help each-other out while not in duty. It seems cold but is in order to defend them both honor, in case of a false flag against them. You only go to work then its your shift and by default its even better, that you shop in an alternate location, to make sure, you have no reason to be there, outside of work. So many security guards have been taken down by false flags, because they went to their store outside of work, somebody recognized them and assumed, they are undercover blues which is illegal. You can only do your thing in your own shift. If things go south, the entire Security company in the entire country or even hemisphere could receive a cease and desist order and close down for this kind of shenanigan.
5. Don't buy candy to a security guard!! We can buy it ourselves. Also dont pay back your loan to them, while they are in office and the camera is watching... What are you? Crazy?!!? Do you wanna make sure, this guard sees his boss, in the shinigami attire asking about the money, he received. That'll be a nice pimp to bitch talk from Taken or some other context. The security guard will really love you for this -- or commit cuiside!! Please don't do it!! The only time, you can do this, is then you wanna see, how a Maximum lockdown perogative looks like in a Supermarket. The cops will also love you to pieces, being called off some real work, and having to deal with a goofball. This is the very reason, why police takes so long to haul the real criminals in, from the supermaket. Because of goofballs crying wolf all day long.
6. Don't do the Mr. Been scetch of having the invisible gun, while looking the roof for cameras. You'll be taken down by FOUR I repeat FOUR security guards in riot gear!! You'll also get the full 2 days incarceration without say.
7. Don't draw any attention to you, from the camera man, what could make him assume, there will be a hit on his workplace. Don't ask about your friends shift -- he might get fired because of that, and the guard, who reveals that intel. Don't ask about, what girls or boys they like. Security guards don't talk, while in office. Do you really want them to start wearing a mike, to make sure, they do their jobs, they are paid for? Really?? Any I have a vision, because of the Holy Spirit, because of one Security guard being a Christian -- it might sound cute on paper and in the bar -- but the Christian, who could loose his job over this, wont be laughing about.
8. Don't beg for the "Stop hitting yourself!" Many people molest Security to get the lawsuit or just extort money. Mostly they pick on the milkface guy... In order to avert it, the security is trained to flash you their id and pull you over and keep you indefinitely, until they see fit, dealing with you. If you did this in a nightclub while going out. The time might be after the doors are closed. And you will enter the black list and never see this establishment from the inside ever again. I WIL PUT A CURSE ON YOU AND EAT YOUR HEART OUT, IF YOU MOLEST THE MILKFACE!! Its not their fault, for looking transparent, like you could see the candle behind them, as though, their made of glass. I really gonna enjoy this, if somebody mistakes me with the Milkface. There is a spacial place in Hell for those, who cross me like that. Yeah... I exist to drive these insane, like King Saul, who do such like. Mat 18:6 I purposely look like milkface and do the same in the spiritworld to hunt for demons or people, who have somehow wronged children. That's my usual workout. Because of that, my personality is a wee bit problematic and volatile. Sometimes only lord Jesus Christ can placate me, to make me acknowledge the Holy Spirit... Shall I have business with you? OwO
I love my work, as a security guard. Since I started working in the Lunatic Asylum, I started to blow my stack less and less. I really love it there. So neat and orderly...
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