There are two ways, how Chritians can mess up big time. One is the King Solomon way, there you are born a bastard; have to anticipate, that you gonna be killed by your half-brothers, when your father is dead, thus repent and show forth great faith, that can even impres God Allmighty -- but it wont last for the same reason, the remorse of the Pharaoh of Egipts repentance didn't last. Its too expensive. Then fall farther away, than a converted pagan would. OR the time, then a rather pious ordinary lay person plays yes-sir and lets their leader break the law by carrying the arc of the Covenant in Oxe-carriage, and then the inevitable happens, tries to shoulder with his hand, so God wouldn't smite Israel -- and God smites thee, for not minding about how the ToS of God minds, the Arc of Covenant should be carried around. Sending it into a heathens house, who gets blessed by it, because he didn't ask for such honor and gets blessed in accordance of Sabath and Jubilee laws. Because basically King David punched his tooth out with that one.
Never ask more from God you can deliver, because Father God, is much more OT or John Wick any God-father or kagemusha could ever be... Mpstly God lets only those do stuff to him, who owe Him big time. Remember how King David, his goldenboy, couldn't build the Temple but only provide for it, but His bastard son from Uriahs wife did it! You can only do Gods bidding, if you become as humble and aunty as a bitch can be towards her pimp. If you can't humble your soul like that, don't make a church for God. Why should God look down from the skies and Heavenly Heavens with his angry eyes, and see, that you have no cloth to stand in His presence and are nude!! God, dost not let thosse, who credit themselves about, how awesome they can convert; or do something else in the name of the lord. I remember the part of call Saul, there somebody invented the talking toilet to encourage his son to learn to go to the potty. Yeah, those bragging Christians are exactly like that, and God has to gringe in front of his holy court disavowing any knowledge about you working for Him. Don't do that! Why should the axe prag of how many timbers it fell?!
A good servant always warns his Master, even if it means disrespect and rebellion of the Last Sammurai kind, to awert his Master from loosing his face. You can loose your face and life if you do it in an aware state, not like Usha, who was merely a Yes-sir. But never ever ever, should a dog bite his feeder... Whenever such peril troubles your boss, you should take the fall, not start excusing yourself, how this is not fair, becuase of women and children or some other inane and irrelevant reason. Not respecting your Master is worse than treason. A traitor at least nows he done bad and can be procecuted, a disrespector will use the last straw in his rights to stay alive and looses not only his own face, but any other face, he can drag with himself into the ground. Sometimes using your rights, is not worth holding the candle at the rock concerto.
Always know, why you believe and serve and what it cost you. Especialy what it cost your boss, who's standards you're representing. Then in doubt, watch House of Cards and the speach the young reporter and protagonist are havig. He only can save himself, if the tworow boat capsides. And it goes without saying then the reporter "kills hersef" by getting the gentle nudge in the right direction under the train, for investigating the druncard cuiside done by her Sugar-daddy. Those things can happen to you, if you're too naive while being average shrewd. Better be full blown shrewd like the unfaithful steward, or be unwaveringly loyal. There is no inbetween like Yoda said in Star Wars." Do or Don't! There is no trial!!" If you miss the spot too bad for you -- those who missed Heaven by an atom, wail the lowdest, because they almost made it to Heaven, but got sacked just like those, who lost it fiull tme and there like Nietzsches Antichrist: "Meh, whatever, was that even living? It aint me!" It doesn't hurt as much if you fail with a tripple F but try failing with a tripple S and now you're talking. People will never forgive you, like they never gonna leave King Solomon alone with it. Because he had it all, what you could possibly want and need to deliver. And he got drunk of power and honours bestowed upon him. Or just not having a working brain, that you cannot hide behind your faithful King David, who ordained you to carry the Arc of the Covenant wrongfully. It doesnät even matter, if he didnät knew the law -- motherfucker, you're in a position there you MUST know!! Not knowing makes it even worse, adding contempt and negligence into it. Because you couldn't be bothered to familiarize yourself, what you need in order to do your job properly. Better to decline servie to God, because you're unworthy, then babber like an Alp, how Jesus Saves. And then go on a tangent like Louis Lane there Jesus has to fall down from Heaven like Superman to save your sorry ass. So many Christians have died like the sons of Skeua, who went to exorcise demons in the name of Jesus, who is proclaimed by St. Paul. There do I even begin? Why do you need to be a nouthful, who talks on somebody elses behalf, then you talking on their behald, is like BLM torching black neighbourhoods and shops, to further Big Corps agenda by killing their competition, like already happened in Rome, and then call upon the ghost of Communism?! Even Donald Trump or Donald Duck or Ronald McDonald are more Communist, than some BLM chick living in a million dollar mansion in suburbia and asks his followers to get the alms from the governmnet not from them. Because they don't grant wishes like Efreet in American Gods. Recommend to watch btw just like Devs. They nail the same spot. Which makes me wonder. How can people mess up so bad, then there are an abundance of roads to enlightenment?? Its almost, as though they can't see them, for being too busy ioening up lootboxes and paying overtime on their seven creditcards... I don't have a credit card specifically because I like working on minimum wage for 196 hours per month 12 hours per day 2 days in a row and 2 days free. It makes me happy. Because of that, I have to mind, I cannot afford my own appartment and have to live by mom. Because the housing cost in Tartu is sometimes more expencive than Tallin, because of reasons, like people wanting to study in Tartu Univercity and stuff. Also being born 1982 I'm all thumbs then it comes to tech. Rightnow I am aghasting myself becase Steam wont recognize my ID-card, and my 2 dollar game purchase fizzled. Its not a big deal but I have already Diablo 2 Remastered and Future Fragments on my wishlist, one due in August and other in September, and if this shit don't get sorted out, I will have to not buy them out. I guess its more of a Steam problem not mine, because I shouldn't play so many games as a Christian. anyhow... If I find out its because I got blacklisted because of things said in this blog or otherwise, I will laugh my butt off, because it would be too hysterical of a killer yoke, just not on me. Because i am not in the business of selling games, Steam is. They get too much money from me anuway. I do admite not regretting purchasing Doom: Eternal, because I never bought Doom I and II paying them via friends. And I really suck in that game. But I wanted to pay Fealty to the creators of this marvellous game, and thought they deserve my money on this. If I could just figure the controlls out. I guess if you robotrip on meditations too much it somehow makes playing fastpaced FPS somehow a mortally challenged game. The loss of motor-skills is giving me a hedache in other fields of life as well. I don't know how much I can stay in this world until I totally hit Nirvana and become one with Nothing. Its so much better outwhere than here. Gives a lot of good poetry and stuff, so I don't mind. This is for reference, so you now, how to hold the empty mirror, then verifying this Sermon/Essay/Tangent whatever this shit is...
I wish I became a pastor but I was too Hentai and couldn't deny myself anything.. Don't do this like me.
Its not fun being a roadkill fucking Orochimarus corpse turning into a shinigami, writing names down.
But I would do it again in a heartbeat, because that's me...
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